Audio

Barbara Branden Interview by Lindsay Perigo

Lindsay Perigo — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 20:17:35 -0700

A Man Walks In to a Department Store by Matty Orchard

Matty Orchard — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 06:18:10 -0700

Funny or just stupid?

O Goddess, Chant It Out Beginning of the Iliad

F L Light — Mon, 26 May 2008 09:13:14 -0700

This is the first sonnet of Book One from my translation of the Iliad.

Nick Otani's 'Bigot at the Bar' by Matty Orchard

Matty Orchard — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 20:43:04 -0800

For Nick

Lindsay's Radio Editorial, 7 September

Julian Darby — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 14:38:59 -0700

Audio and text from Lindsay's Radio Pacific Editorial, Friday Sept 7:

Don't be sad about Pavarotti. He lived a rich and full life, and made ours so much richer and fuller. He helped opera hold its own while the world was succumbing to heavy metal and rap-crap. He reminded us what single-mindedness, discipline AND passion in the service of beauty and joy could achieve. He enjoyed himself, and brought rapture to his audiences. He pinged out High Cs like a champion tennis player serving aces.

The comparison is apposite. One of his friends was John McEnroe. McEnroe would have heard the news shortly after completing yesterday's American Open commentary with Andre Agassi. The match was a quarter-final between Federer and Roddick. Like the previous day's match between Nadal and Ferrer, it was a sublime demonstration of single-mindedness, guts, grit, discipline and passion.

These are life's heroes, in whatever field. They embody so well the spirit of Tennyson's words, which I dedicate to them this morning:

Come, my friends,
'Tis not too late to seek a newer world.
Push off, and sitting well in order smite
The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds
To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths
Of all the western stars, until I die.
It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:
It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,
And see the great Achilles, whom we knew

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

Lindsay's Radio Editorial, 6 September: The Assault on Salt

Julian Darby — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 14:02:41 -0700

Audio and text from Lindsay's Radio Pacific Editorial, Thursday Sept 6:

Oh dear. Now it's salt. Fresh from their failed attempt to ban all beverages but water from the workplace, the nutri-nazis are now seeking to withhold the Heart Foundation tick from bread with salt in it. Or more than one grain per loaf. They're doing us a favour, thankfully. At least in future we'll know to avoid the breads that have the tick. Not only will they be tasteless, but eating them could well cause us to end up looking like the anorexic eunuch from the Heart Foundation who intoned on the matter on TV3 last night.

Meanwhile a Member of Parliament has responded to my editorial about the water-only workplace proposal with an invitation to join her for a drink at the Beehive. She's promised it won't be water, since fish poo in it. Very similar to the reason I myself avoid water, except when it's heavily diluted with alcohol.

When I go to Parliament, I shall of course seek to carry on where Guy Fawkes left off. When our lawmakers openly confess to trying to poison the proletariat with fish poo, you know it's time for revolution. Syd Jackson would be proud of me.

Before I fly off to a martyr's paradise, however, I'm going to savour the delicious spectacle of an American president telling journalists with not a whole brain among them that if they're worried about greenhouse gasses they should embrace nuclear—or, as he unfortunately insists, nukular—power. He’s quite right, even if he can’t pronounce it—and to see him jovially recommending it to that harem of hacks in Sydney was delectable.

Also appetising was learning that Dubya has plans for massive airstrikes against 1,200 targets in Iran, designed to annihilate the Islamo-Fascist filth’s military capability in three days. Details on my web site.

Matter of fact, I think I’ll postpone my martyrdom in order to linger for long enough to see the Iranian regime achieve its. I wasn’t here for the defeat of Hitler. I’d like to be around to see the contemporary holocausters get what’s coming to them. And to rub the noses of their fellow-travellers in academia and the media right in it.

And when toasting life with my MP host, I shall remember the words of Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson:

“Me? Well, what I love most of all is binge drinking. Really getting stuck in. Hosing back the cocktails until the room begins to swim and my legs seem to be on backwards.”

Oh, and pass the salt would you, Jason?

Linz' Editorial, Sept 4—Cluck Off, Commies!

Julian Darby — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 03:50:05 -0700

I’ve had it up to the eyeballs with them. Nutri-nazis, nico-nazis, alco-nazis, nag-nazis of every kind. Talentless twats with no life who compensate by trying to run other people’s. Last week, they told us they’ve made the bogs of Taranaki smokefree. What a sanctimonious little semi-glow they must have felt. They told us they’re going to make food manufacturers put traffic lights on their labels—red if the food’s enjoyable, green for the healthy muck. One of their number, Jeanette Fitzsimons, is actually a giraffe who lives on leaves, and expects the rest of us to do the same. They look as though they’re sucking on a lemon and sitting on a cactus. If you doubt me, look at Sue Kedgley.

Over the weekend they told us:

A long-term tax strategy is needed to double the price of tobacco products within 10 years. That is the recommendation of tobacco control experts presenting papers at the “Death and Taxes: Future directions for tobacco taxation” seminar in Auckland today. Their work was commissioned by the Audio to follow)

Smokefree Coalition and ASH NZ.

They are swine, fit only for the abattoir.

Yesterday, I heard great answers to them, given by the late stand-up comic Bill Hicks. I deliver them here with expletives modified:

“I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids. Just laughed my ass off, and went about my day."

“What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see or take into my body as long as I don't harm another human being whilst on this planet? And for those of you having a little moral dilemma on how to answer this, I'll answer for you. NONE OF YOUR CLUCKING BUSINESS! Take that to the bank, cash it and take it on a vacation outta my clucking life."

"Obnoxious , self-righteous, whining little clucks. My biggest fear is that if I quit smoking, I'll become one of you. Don't take that wrong. I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready? Non-smokers die every day. Enjoy your evening.”

Bill Hicks died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 32. I wish he were still here. In his memory, and as fitting tribute to the obnoxious, self-righteous, whining little clucks, today’s edition of Truth Radio is proudly sponsored by Cluck-off Cigarettes.

Live Earth rocking idiots

Rick Giles — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 13:27:08 -0700

Australian radio poking fun at Crowded House et al re Live Earth, July07

Lasst Uns Erfreuen

jmd2479 — Mon, 18 Jun 2007 20:14:19 -0700

Two Disclaimers:

1) This is not an original composition. It is my arrangement for organ, choir, and brass of the hymn tune Lasst Uns Erfreuen. The text is titled "A Hymn of Glory Let Us Sing."

2) Yes, it is church music, but try to focus on the incredible majesty and beuaty of this tune and the power of the arrangement.

PS It doesn't climax until the final verse so keep listening to the end

The time has come to chatter

William Scott Scherk — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 20:31:53 -0800

The horror and the valour. A review of the week at SOLO.