Six Upsides of Corona

Lindsay Perigo's picture
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Thu, 2020-03-12 06:49

The old adage that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger may never be truer in our time than in the case of the Corona Virus that is currently throwing almost everyone into hysteria and panic.

First, even if Islamo-Marxist Merkel's doomsday prophecy comes true, and 70% of us catch the virus, the vast majority of us won't die from it. We'll have mild symptoms, if we even have symptoms at all, and come through with impunity and immunity.

Second, the virus emanated from the two countries that most odiously constitute the Axis of Evil in the contemporary world: Islamic Iran and Communist China. The fact that civilised nations are now closing their borders to these totalitarian shit-holes is a gigantic step forward that would otherwise have been unachievable in the Age of Woke.

Third, Orange the Magnificent has put his country on a war footing against the virus, notwithstanding that Dem-Scum and Fake News—other integral parts of the current Axis of Evil—screeched that closing borders and airports was "racist" ... before they then said he'd closed the borders and airports "too late"! None will dare challenge his southern border wall again. Some may even realise the necessity for a similar wall along the northern border.

Fourth, in the face of the closing of government indoctrination centres known as "schools" and "universities"—yet another integral part of the current Axis of Evil—conscientious parents will recognise the insidious vileness being perpetrated by these institutions and withhold their children permanently from the clutches of the child-molesters of the mind. Home-schooling and Montessori will rise to heights hitherto unknown. Woke will no longer be drilled into vulnerable, innocent minds.

Fifth, the irresistible supremacy of Western Culture in its intractable commitment to science and reason will be appreciated as never before, since we're relying on science and reason to produce a vaccine—which they assuredly will, in record time on this occasion.

Sixth, the irresistible supremacy of Western Culture in its intractable commitment to Truth and Beauty will also be appreciated as never before. The Number One self-avowed enemy of Western Culture right now are the Wokers. "Wokers." Rhymes with "Jokers" and sounds similar to "Wankers." You only have to look at Wokers to know they never wash their hands or anything else, since hygiene is a tool of White Western Patriarchal Gender-Binary Oppression. Wokers are inveterate promoters of non-objectivity and ugliness for the sake of non-objectivity and ugliness. Corona will destroy them.

Corona will not kill Western Civilisation. Corona will only make Western Civilisation stronger—at the exact moment Western Civilisation needed a helping hand.

Gaudeamus!


A

Mr_Lineberry's picture

PM whose mindset is that of an 8 year old girl, who (along with her equally infantile playmate Grant) has been constantly thwarted by meanie Winston from playing socialists, is about to make an announcement.

After reading about fairy princesses and monsters last night before bed, and it having been VE Day last Friday, what's the bet Jacinda decides...... to play "Warrior Queen"?

"Oh sweety darling I've worked late every night single handedly curing the sick and fighting the virus... oh it was awful; two whole months with me as the hero holding the country together. I don't know how I did it." (etc)

If I was Bridges I would be calling for her to be sectioned under the mental health act.
Also what is the bet she criticizes those who have criticized her? the meanies, those evil haters who want to kill their neighbours;

How could they not see how brilliant she is?

How could they not see what a Warrior Queen she is? (and be so impressed)

How could there *sniff* be dissent? (just like those f***ing b**ches from school with their rich parents, and boyfriends, and makeup, and by Christ I am going to make them pay for bullying me - I'll give them "my little pony") .....

We had to pause here for Jacinda to start screaming hysterically and pounding the floor at these school days memories.

You get the general idea ha ha!

My Upsides Have All Come to Pass

Lindsay Perigo's picture

The old adage that what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger may never be truer in our time than in the case of the Corona Virus that is currently throwing almost everyone into hysteria and panic.

First, even if Islamo-Marxist Merkel's doomsday prophecy comes true, and 70% of us catch the virus, the vast majority of us won't die from it. We'll have mild symptoms, if we even have symptoms at all, and come through with impunity and immunity.

Second, the virus emanated from the two countries that most odiously constitute the Axis of Evil in the contemporary world: Islamic Iran and Communist China. The fact that civilised nations are now closing their borders to these totalitarian shit-holes is a gigantic step forward that would otherwise have been unachievable in the Age of Woke.

Third, Orange the Magnificent has put his country on a war footing against the virus, notwithstanding that Dem-Scum and Fake News—other integral parts of the current Axis of Evil—screeched that closing borders and airports was "racist" ... before they then said he'd closed the borders and airports "too late"! None will dare challenge his southern border wall again. Some may even realise the necessity for a similar wall along the northern border.

Fourth, in the face of the closing of government indoctrination centres known as "schools" and "universities"—yet another integral part of the current Axis of Evil—conscientious parents will recognise the insidious vileness being perpetrated by these institutions and withhold their children permanently from the clutches of the child-molesters of the mind. Home-schooling and Montessori will rise to heights hitherto unknown. Woke will no longer be drilled into vulnerable, innocent minds.

Fifth, the irresistible supremacy of Western Culture in its intractable commitment to science and reason will be appreciated as never before, since we're relying on science and reason to produce a vaccine—which they assuredly will, in record time on this occasion.

Sixth, the irresistible supremacy of Western Culture in its intractable commitment to Truth and Beauty will also be appreciated as never before. The Number One self-avowed enemy of Western Culture right now are the Wokers. "Wokers." Rhymes with "Jokers" and sounds similar to "Wankers." You only have to look at Wokers to know they never wash their hands or anything else, since hygiene is a tool of White Western Patriarchal Gender-Binary Oppression. Wokers are inveterate promoters of non-objectivity and ugliness for the sake of non-objectivity and ugliness. Corona will destroy them.

Corona will not kill Western Civilisation. Corona will only make Western Civilisation stronger—at the exact moment Western Civilisation needed a helping hand.

Gaudeamus!

Point Four in particular: a majority of parents now realise the importance of rescuing young minds from the Woke child molesters of the mind who are hell-bent on turning the whole world into a Third World shithole.

https://www.breitbart.com/poli...

China/Korana/Corona Virus has delivered them exactly what they want: the whole world enacting Occasional Cortex's Green New Deal. That's why it's the Woke Fascists of the Left resisting re-opening.

The Woke Fascists are currently in retreat as their base treason in attempting to overturn Trump's election is now exposed incontrovertibly. Obamarx is saying the dropping of charges against Flynn represents the overturn of the rule of law. This is the ultimate in Orwellian Doublespeak. That vile "Tell Vladimir I'll have more flexibility after the election" Islamo-Marxist started all this and was in on it every step of the way.

Excellent Opening Monologue by Greg Today

Lindsay Perigo's picture

"Preening bucket of farts." Hahahaha! Just look at the Fake News Filth interspersed through Greg's trenchant monologue:

From a Horse's Mouth ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Coronavirus = Koranavirus, Soldier of Allah:

Woke Fascists Creaming Themselves

Lindsay Perigo's picture

The Lives Of Others...

Chris R's picture

 If young people learn anything from the virus scourge it ought to be that the powers of the State are limitless. The sweep of the State in NZ this week is not solely to give orders as to how we run our lives but to incur debt which will be repayable by us and those to come through extreme taxation. The orders this week are already nudging tyranny but the revelatory test will be how quickly the State retreats from its present position once science can deal with the virus. The forecast for doing so is bleak given that all lawful NZ gunowners were (and still apparently are) deliberately hounded/condemned last year due to the postured assertions of the State. This week is reminiscent of the East German film: "The Lives Of Others."
 

Reassuring

Lindsay Perigo's picture

From Orange the Magnificent (clearly still reading SOLO):

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

WE CANNOT LET THE CURE BE WORSE THAN THE PROBLEM ITSELF. AT THE END OF THE 15 DAY PERIOD, WE WILL MAKE A DECISION AS TO WHICH WAY WE WANT TO GO!

Prescient or not?

Lindsay Perigo's picture

From my lead article:

Third, Orange the Magnificent has put his country on a war footing against the virus, notwithstanding that Dem-Scum and Fake News—other integral parts of the current Axis of Evil—screeched that closing borders and airports was "racist" ... before they then said he'd closed the borders and airports "too late"! None will dare challenge his southern border wall again. Some may even realise the necessity for a similar wall along the northern border.

This was written before Orange the Magnificent actually declared himself a "war-time president" and before he and Justine closed the Canadian border. I'm reminded of the time I touted a "Not One Muslim" immigration policy and, lo and behold, a few days later Orange announced the exact same policy. Clearly he was reading SOLO then ... and is reading SOLO now! So, apparently, is Justine!

(Necessary note for humourless Wokers reading this: it's in jest. Fun. Something you've never heard of but want to ban anyway!)

The Madding Crowd

Lindsay Perigo's picture

I gather panic-buying has gone berserk in the wake of Jacinda's announcement of a Level 4 shutdown in the wake of the Communist China Virus. I wonder how many new infections will be generated in the stampede? Difficult to practise social distancing in the midst of crazed mobs!

Why no Level 4 on the Korana Virus?

Funny Thing

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Occasional Cortex's Green New Deal has come to pass, for reasons that have everything to do with her precious Islamo-Marxism. An intellectual virus turned into a literal one. There is no carbon footprint any more. Civilised human activity has been grounded. Exactly what this pre-human fry-quacker wanted.

Why are she and the other Woke-Fascists not celebrating?! Are the results a tad uncomfortable??

Hahaha!

Mr_Lineberry's picture

Very good, yes.

Saw this at the local New World Supermarket near where we are staying at the moment; I've known the owner most of my life (we went to school together back in the day). Try not to roar with laughter when you see it folks! Sticking out tongue (do I need to point out what religion and ethnic group he belongs to? hint: Irish Catholic)

Latest Un-Woke Joke

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Six men went into a bar. Five ordered Heinekin beer and one ordered a Corona. The barmen brought the bottles over to their table - Five bottles of Heinekin with the Corona one wearing a face mask.

Drug Cartels Switch To Producing Hand Sanitizer

Mr_Lineberry's picture

MEXICO—Drug cartels across Mexico and all around Central and South America have announced they are ceasing production of heroin, meth, and cocaine, saying they are now producing a far more lucrative drug with the street name of "hand sanitizer."

Drug cartels are quickly converting their assembly lines to pump out more and more of the hand sanitizer, saying Americans across the border "can't get enough" of the addictive substance.

"It's the hottest product on the streets right now," said Carlos "13-ball" Lopez, a dealer in Albuquerque. "Everyone's hooked on it -- we got grandmas, housewives, even school kids wanting a taste. Your first hit is free but after that you're ours, yo."

"Hey, kid, want a squirt of hand sanitizer?" he then said to a passing youngster. "This one's on me."

One cartel has begun producing what the DEA is calling the purest, most addictive hand sanitizer yet, "Blue Sky." The Blue Sky hand sanitizer kills 99.99999% of germs, while less pure versions of the drug only kill 99.9% of germs and bacteria.

"The spread of this dangerous new gateway drug is an epidemic," said a DEA agent as he held aloft a small plastic baggy containing a small drop of Blue Sky hand sanitizer. "Just last week, we stopped a truck destined for a chicken restaurant here in New Mexico, but the buckets of chicken actually contained thousands of kilos of hand sanitizer."

Parents Worried...

Mr_Lineberry's picture

Parents Worried They'll Have To Raise Their Own Children As Government Schools Shut Down

U.S.—Parents across the nation have expressed their worry, fear, and shock at having to raise their own children now that government schools have temporarily shut down.

Those who send their children to public schools registered their displeasure at the government for not doing its main job of indoctrinating their children, even temporarily.

"Raise, educate, and parent my children?" said one exasperated mother as her teen sat at home, bored and with nothing to do. "But that's the government's job! What am I supposed to do? Teach them things? Instill them with my values? Train them up in the way that they should go?"

"Honestly, if this keeps up, I'm going to move to a different country where I can count on the government to parent my children. This is ridiculous."

Luckily, parents quickly discovered they could just do what they usually do when their kids get home from school and let them lock themselves in their rooms with unfettered access to the internet, a wonderful place where nothing bad ever happens.

Doing my part to save lives....

Mr_Lineberry's picture

If

Mr_Lineberry's picture

only Ron Reagan had taken my advice, when I wrote to him as a 10 year old, and nuked every Communist country in the World (and Iran, too, for good measure), we wouldn't be having these problems today. How naive I was back then haha!

Ha!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

If I were in the chorus that would guarantee no "social distancing" problems. The hall would empty on the spot.

All concerts this year have now been called off.

Panic Pandemic. But also, the open borders Islamo-Marxist chickens coming home to roost. With any luck, China and Iran will be completely crippled by what they have generated, while the rest of us, led by Orange the Magnificent, will crush them even further into what Reagan called the ash-can of history.

Not sure why we have to do this every thirty years or so, but still ...

oh!

Mr_Lineberry's picture

are you IN it? are you in the Chorus? you never said! haha!

Not cancelled yet

Lindsay Perigo's picture

But if 500 is the limit, unless it gets a waiver, I can't see it going ahead. There's also the matter of the overseas soloists and conductor having to be quarantined. I do know the chorus has been rehearsing regardless.

Has

Mr_Lineberry's picture

Missa Solemnis been cancelled? well that rather pisses me off as I had tickets to that! bloody commies! so do we get a refund or credit note?

The Politics of Panic

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Dem-Scum have realised this is a perfect means of derailing the Orange the Magnificent economy. Comrade de Blasio is now shutting down bars. No doubt Jihadi Jacinda will follow suit.

Funny thing: whenever anyone proposed closing the borders to avoid the viruses of Islam and Communism, he or she was called a racist, xenophobe, Islamophobe and all the rest, not the least by Woke Obleftivists.

Now that Islam and Communism have exported a literal virus here and Jihadi Jacinda closes the borders, she's hailed as a hero.

Actually, she's done the right thing. But she and her ilk enabled the problem in the first place!

I was looking forward to the NZSO's Beethoven Missa Solemnis on April 3. One of the high points of Western Civilisation. Clearly that won't be happening now. Probably just as well for me personally. During the Beethoven Festival last year I got ordinary 'flu for the first time in decades from the air-conditioning at the Michael Fowler Centre. I don't doubt that self-same air-conditioning, with 2000 people crammed in like sardines, would be a perfect transmission belt for Corona.

The Italian situation is illuminating. Open borders on stilts. I got excited when I read they were all singing from their balconies. When I listened to it, it was atrocious. What happened to the land of Caruso, Gigli and Lanza?? I guess it went Woke, and is now paying the price.

Upside #7 from Corona—humans will realise the truth of what I've said for years: that in a world in which fry-quacking and headbanging are the norm, bad things will happen!!

Upside #8, perhaps: humans will realise that "wash your hands" is hopelessly inadequate. Wiping your ass with permeable paper is ludicrously, horrifically incomplete and disease-spreading. One must wash one's ass with soap and water after the wiping. Historians will look back in horror at the Age of Mere Toilet Paper.

In other news, Puerto Rico, hub of Obleftivism, is imposing a night-time curfew. Oh the deliciosity! Not that I imagine Yawon goes out at all, least of all at night! Who'd want to put up with that auwal atwocity over a dwink of water?! Evil

Oh

Mr_Lineberry's picture

they are getting orgasmic at the Beehive - that dreadful Ardern woman has banned gatherings of more than 500 people; no doubt salivating at the thought of arresting vast numbers of people if 501 were to congregate in one place. All their commie fantasies have come true!

On the brightside - St Patrick's Day for the ghastly Roman Catholics has been cancelled; Polyfest has been cancelled (so that's great news!); ghastly pop concerts, rugby matches, Cubadupa, Anzac Day (boring), and a vast number of other 'bread and circus' entertainments for the lower orders are all for the high jump too. Hopefully this ban won't apply to the Symphony Orchestra, Chamber Music NZ, or events of that nature - (as 'people like us' are hardly likely to have coronavirus!) - which would be such a bore.

What I do not understand is why there needs to be a package of handouts to business over this virus; perhaps certain motel owners and clever dick restaurateurs - (who love poncing about big noting) - could sell one of their rental properties to tide them over? (just a thought).

Is

Mr_Lineberry's picture

the picture becoming clearer now? Eye

Yes

Mr_Lineberry's picture

I was saying years ago that the Chinese were just dirty b*stards to be avoided, much to the hand wringing shock and horror of (ahem) "politically incorrect" libertarianz who couldn't wait to embrace a Chinese free trade agreement. Now the chickens are coming home to roost!

Needless to say I (ahem) sincerely hope (*cough*splutter) nobody in that milieu gets coronavirus - and I certainly won't be (ahem) roaring with laughter at the irony of it Sticking out tongue ("you knew I was a snake...") - or making fun of such a predicament, or sending 'Get Well' cards with bad taste messages to their hospital bed - ("die you bastard, die!") - but by golly the unthinking adoption of "globalism", in order not to be seen as a backward redneck, without a thought (insofar as 'thinking' has ever occured with some people) as to the potential consequences of this globalism palarvar seems to have turned to custard. It really has turned out to be hazardous to your health.

Serves everyone right, too!

Totalitarian Shit-Holes

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Courageous Carlson:

"The global death toll of the Chinese coronavirus currently sits at almost five thousand people. That’s just the official number. In Iran, officials haven’t even confirmed 500 deaths, that's what they're claiming, and yet satellite images suggest authorities are excavating massive trenches to hold the bodies of victims. So the lesson there, and you knew this, government's lie.

"But they are not the only people who lie. As the death toll rises, it’s important to never forget how we got here: This pandemic came out of China. It came out of China for a reason. It is a country with poor health practices, it is a country where government officials deliberately covered up the early stages of the virus, when it could have been stopped before it spread out of control.

"In fact, the outbreak may have begun not in a public meat market but in a poorly run Chinese laboratory. That is not our theory. Anyone who raises that theory is attacked as if they are a conspiracy monger. But this is a theory from a now-censored Chinese paper. A draft paper posted in mid-February: Scientists at the South China University of Technology suggested that the virus outbreak began at the Wuhan Center for Disease Control where an animal may have infected a researcher who then spread the disease outside the facility. The paper is explicit about this, we're going to quote it: 'The killer coronavirus probably originated in a laboratory in Wuhan.'

"Now we have no idea if that is actually true, but again those were Chinese researchers making an evidence-based argument about the origin of this virus. That paper has since been taken down, no explanation has been offered for that you can guess. Instead, China, the same country that controls 96% of anti-biotics in this nation, the same nation that has been wanting to cut off drug exports to the U.S. to kill Americans is now trying to hide the reality of where the coronavirus came from. ..."

Bernie: 'We Must Seize The Means Of Toilet Paper Production'

Mr_Lineberry's picture

BURLINGTON, VT—In a video message recorded from one of his many, many houses, Bernie Sanders has called on the workers of the world to unite and seize the means of toilet paper production. Sanders was under quarantine because he is old and susceptible to the virus. So he delivered the message remotely, but it was just as powerful as if he had delivered it to thousands of Bernie bros in person: "Workers of the world, unite and seize the means of producing bath tissue in large quantities!"

Being a well-known communist, Sanders criticized the free market for having so much prosperity and toilet paper that people could run out and purchase hundreds of rolls they don't even need on a whim. "1% of the people now own 99% of the toilet paper. Under a socialist system, each person would get an equal amount, which would probably be two or three squares. But at least we would all be equal."

The presidential candidate has also promised to enact efficient, government-run toilet paper lines if elected president.

"My fellow Americans, can you spare a square?" he asked his loyal followers.

Great piece!

Olivia's picture

Best writing on the Coronavirus yet.
Orange the Magnificent indeed.Smiling

Good traction here:

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Now do you see what this is REALLY about?

Mr_Lineberry's picture

That

Mr_Lineberry's picture

is a brilliant summing up Lindsay; warms the cockles of my heart to read it!! Laughing out loud

Hopefully the Chinky Coronavirus is the event that ends a lot of the nonsense of the last decade or so; a 'Return to Normalcy' being the result. The fake news media and Demoscum politicians are engaging in utter lunacy at the moment; when millions of parents are frazzled in trying to juggle children home from school along with work - only to be told everything is "racist" - their response is going to be "oh put a sock in it" and not only rally behind the President, but hasten the demise of the media. Anyone awake and paying attention (which CNN, CDNC, and Demoscum members of congress are not) would be sensitive to what the ordinary man in the street is having to endure over the next few weeks and not say stupid, provocative, things to annoy him.

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