Shilling for Gilded Coins

Prima Donna's picture
Submitted by Prima Donna on Thu, 2006-06-22 00:44

Well, after a squillion hours of work, and months of hair ripping-outing and what not, the Gilded Fork Online Boutique is at last open for business.

We've put together quite a decadent collection of caviar, truffles, foie gras, fine vinegars, and oodles of other treats for you to savor. My particular favorite is the set of Tahitian vanilla beans, but I'm also a fiend for the truffle oil. Smiling

We've created a special discount code for SOLOists through July 4th, so if you purchase before then we'll be delighted to take 5% off your total order. Just enter code GFSOLO when you are checking out.

If you sign up for our Gilded Select newsletter, you'll be eligible for other special discounts and offers, so you might consider that as well.

I should also mention two things:

1) The glorious olive oil of Allure Estates is crafted by one Laurie Alexiev, who attended last year's SOLO conference. Her olive oil just took home the Gold Medal for "Best in Class" in the International Olive Oil Competition. The golden elixir is worth every last cent.

2) We can only ship to US residents. Sorry Kiwis. Sad


( categories: )

God and quality control

Craig Ceely's picture

Jennifer, "Quality Control" is my middle name, and we live and die by it at the El Paso Organic Ice Cube Company (your source for the original west Texas organic ice cubes!). Your satisfaction, dear, is my only reason for living.

Refrigeration seems to go against the whole organic ethos, so I'll have to think on that. Really, in my experience warehouse elves are usually nasty little bastards anyway; still, even for them, drowning is probably unwarranted. And at any rate not my intent.

Trucks, eh? Now there's an idea. Works for fruit...

Craig

Speaking of God...

Prima Donna's picture

...I've been meaning to talk to you about those El Paso Organic Ice Cubes(TM), Craig. Please remember to ship them in a refrigerated truck next time, as the havoc they wrought upon delivery was horrific. Our warehouse elves nearly drowned, so thank God for the lifeboats we keep handy in the warehouse. Honestly, some people just cannot embrace the concept of Quality Control.

Boaz, I'll be delighted to tutor you; we've just started offering private lessons. We have "Boot Camp," "A Taste of..." and "Cooking with the Senses," among others.

Heh.


Jennifer
-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Thank God...

Boaz the Boor's picture

...for ellipses.

Well gee, Craig, I'll have to look into this new subject of "food."
Thanks for that.

Hold it, I just remembered: it's one of my favorite things!

(It's not like I was just trying to be cute or anything.)

It's like this, Boaz...

Craig Ceely's picture

You wrote, "Who said anything about food?"

It's bound to come up. I'm the founder of The Original El Paso Organic Ice Cube Company, and Jennifer operates The Gilded Fork, which gives all who go there plenty of reasons to talk about food, and to be moved to do more than just talk.

As to where else it leads, well, the food and sensuality question has been around for a long, long time. Thank God.

To the lovely gal with the peppers

Boaz the Boor's picture

Why does any conversation about food always turn to sex on this site?

Who said anything about food?

P.S.

Prima Donna's picture

I don't remember asking for your commentary.

The thankfully refers to our own unsullied reputations; the alas to the lack of proof.

So shut it.


Jennifer


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

"Thankfully" and "alas"

Craig Ceely's picture

"Thankfully" and "alas" referring, in the same sentence, to the same subject?

SoloP's own Fred Weiss publishes a fine basic logic text by Lionel Ruby. Generations have sworn by it. Good stuff.

Jen, baby, my peppers ain't

Ross Elliot's picture

Jen, baby, my peppers ain't pickled. They're firm, fresh and dripping with goodness. Now, be a good girl and go shave your truffles.

It's because...

Prima Donna's picture

...you clearly haven't seen us out on the town, or you would say otherwise. Thankfully there are no photos, but alas we have no proof aside from the word of Messrs. Dixon, Elmore and Heard. Smiling



Jennifer


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Kelly ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

You asked:

Why does any conversation about food always turn to sex on this site?

I'm just amazed, not to mention disappointed, that les girls haven't responded to my taunt on the blue logo thread. Smiling

Pod this.

Prima Donna's picture

Show those pods to Kelly. She seems to be enamored with them. Smiling

Kelly, sage does not a marriage make, but nice try. Go play with Ross' peck of pickled peppers. Sticking out tongue


Jennifer


P.S. I assume your question is rhetorical, Miss?


-- The Gilded Fork

"You can have Ross and his

Ross Elliot's picture

"You can have Ross and his peppers."

Now, Jen, you should at least *sample* my Hot Hungarian Wax before you utter such a harsh dismissal. Have I described my pods to you? Silky smooth yet full of heat. Often exceeding eight inches in length. No? If only I had a picture Eye

But Boaz doesn't like sage . . .

User hidden's picture

I don't think he's right for you. That is an essential characteristic for a match. Guess I'll have to keep him. Smiling

Why does any conversation about food always turn to sex on this site? Smiling

Kelly

And it starts again

Landon Erp's picture

"Loooooove the truffles. Hold the fish. Maybe some sausages? "

---Landon

Inking is sexy.

http://www.angelfire.com/comics/wickedlakes

Kelly...

Prima Donna's picture

You can have Ross and his peppers. I'll take these fine gents, one of whom appreciates a good truffle, and the other of whom is willing to mount a trusty steed to rescue me. He's also a fine Gilded Fork customer, so I must see to it that he is treated well.

Boaz, we're actually looking at some lovely collections of gourmet sausages (shaddap, Linz, and no, you can't help), as well as an array of fine pates and other goodies. I'm not a big fan of salmon either, so I empathize.

But the truffles...mmmmm.

Time for dinner. Smiling


Jennifer


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Congrats on the new baby,

Boaz the Boor's picture

Congrats on the new baby, baby. Now Food Philosophy can strike where it counts - right in the belly.

Loooooove the truffles. Hold the fish. Maybe some sausages? Smiling

Righting the infinite unjustness of things...

Craig Ceely's picture

Some here know me for living a quiet, virtuous life in west Texas, and therefore y'all know that I ain't one to stir up any hate and discontent.

But Rude Ross has criticized the Fair Jennifer (for which I would rise in anger in any event) for not shipping her quality wares to the back of the Outlands, so I must mount my steed and ride to her defense. And mightily shall I so smite the miscreant that he shall commence to the viewing of baseball, nigh even unto the neglect of peppers.

Ross: a fellow Kiwi, known to you and to others here, will be IN THE UNITED STATES within days, and has in fact announced his trip on this very site. The Gilded Fork does ship to California, to my knowledge. Not that I'm trying to make the individual easy to identify. Or at least they ship to Texas, from parts of which it is possible to get to southern California. But no, had you actually wanted to purchase anything, you could have arranged for it to be legally and easily acquired by said individual, and for that person to smuggle them back into New Zealand, thus avoiding all questions of letterboxes and other Kiwi arcana, as well as public criticism of Jennifer, Than Whom etc. etc.

'Course, it ain't like me to criticize. Best wishes to the peppers.

Kelly, baby, you grow

Ross Elliot's picture

Kelly, baby, you grow peppers? Oh, that already makes you more exciting then Jennifer Eye

You should see the size of my Hot Hungarian!

Start a pepper thread and I'm there!

"Hush."

Craig Ceely's picture

"Hush."

Right. That's a real word...

Hush.

Prima Donna's picture

"Letterboxes..."

Craig Ceely's picture

"...do not hold pecks of peppers. But I digress."

Umm...to respond is not to digress, I, ah, would aver.

But I abflinucate.

Letterboxes...

Prima Donna's picture

...do not hold pecks of peppers. But I digress.

Ross, it's difficult enough to figure out what state laws we need to avoid breaking to have this online boutique, so international adds a whole other layer of headaches we simply can't bear. Sorry dear.

Kelly, I forgive you pending the delivery of a bottle of said oil, after which you will change your mind forever. Smiling

Thanks for your good wishes, luv. We are indeed about to break out, as the Gilded Fork has now become a new media company with more than 30 people working on various aspects of our projects, and the online magazine is now just one piece of that. It's been a terribly exciting year, and we hope it continues to get better. We're now doing cooking classes, tasting dinners, and we've just begun planning our international trips.

Have I mentioned how much fun I'm having? Smiling



Jennifer


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Jennifer and Ross

User hidden's picture

First, rock on Jennifer baby. Your website looks fantastic. I'd buy some of that truffle oil if I had ten cents to my name. Well, I'm not that poor, but I wanna buy pretty clothes and too many rounds of shots before I wanna buy truffle oil. You probably just fainted! Sorry. Anyway, I cannot wait to see you really break out with your magazine; it seems like it will be very soon now!

Ross, do you garden? Oh my god, if you do, I can't wait to talk about it. I harvested my first purple pepper tonight, and the smell of it was so much more wonderful than the ones I am forced to buy from the store in the winter.

Kelly

Shaddap, yourself.

Ross Elliot's picture

a) all my chiles are now in the freezer, and b) I was thinking of anchos, chipotles, etc., you know, the biggies.

And, just why is it that you can't ship to NZ? We do have letterboxes, you know?

Thanks :)

Prima Donna's picture

Thanks, guys. Craig, I hope you are very pleased with your purchase, and I'm sure you'll let me know if you aren't. Smiling

Ross, dear, why on earth would you need chiles from us, when you have skatey-eight hundred of them growing in your own garden? (I couldn't use squillion again.)

We'll likely add them at some point, but you can't order them anyway, so shaddap. Sticking out tongue



Jennifer


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

This is how it's done

Craig Ceely's picture

Customer service is outstanding. Looking forward to the products themselves.

Mmmm...decadent... Good job,

JoeM's picture

Mmmm...decadent...

Good job, Jen!

No chiles!

Ross Elliot's picture

No chiles!

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