Lindsay Perigo's picture
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Sat, 2006-08-12 07:24

Subsequent to my policy statement on banning, I received a private message from a poster who didn't know what "KASS" means, asking for clarification. It occurred to me that it might be useful to post a glossary of current Linzisms for the similarly perplexed. And, to paraphrase Brahms, if there's still someone I haven't offended, I apologise:


KASS: Kick-Ass. First coined in my article SOLO, TOC ... and KASS, written after my appearance at TOC-Vancouver's 2004 Summer Seminar. Self-explanatory.

The KASSless Society: The Atlas Society, formerly known as The Objectivist Centre, renowned for precisely the sort of KASSlessness epitomised by their name-change. Pussy-footed, weak-kneed, lily-livered, spineless, soft-headed limp-wristed weasel-worders ... you get the picture. [2010 update: an exception is Ed Hudgins, latterly a writer of magnificently KASS op-eds in his capacity as TAS's Director of Advocacy.]

Weasel-words (not original to me): Saccharin euphemising, such as The Kassless Society's apologia for the name-change on the grounds that "Atlas" is less "intimidating" than "Objectivist." Weasel-worders, among many other sins, treat Objectivism as the philosophy that dare not speak its name.

The world is perishing from an orgy of weasel-words: A paraphrase of Rand/Roark's "The world is perishing from an orgy of self-sacrificing." Self-explanatory.

Hsiekovian: A subscriber to the batty view promulgated by Leonard Peikoff, supported by Diana Hsieh, that 1) should the Republicans remain politically dominant they will establish a fundamentalist Christian theocracy in America "within our lifetime"; 2) the only way to avert this threat is to vote Democrat across the board; 3) anyone who doesn't get this is deficient in his understanding of Objectivism and the role of philosophy in history; 4) anyone who gets it and doesn't vote Dem across the board (or who abstains from voting altogether) is acting immorally in that instance. When it's charitably posited that they are endorsing this lunacy only because it emanates from Peikoff, since no sensible person could possibly subscribe to it independently, Hsiekovians tend to throw hissy fits and flounce off. (Note—spelling with extra 'h'—Hsiehkovian—optional.)

Polish: The incomprehensible gibberish of Chris Sciabarra when he's writing for an academic audience. The principle of Polish is: why use one short word when one hundred long ones will suffice?! The premise of Polish is that everything is bewilderingly, intractably complex. The upshot of Polish is: paralysis. Exactly what its Brandroid (q.v.) practitioners intend.

Saddamites: Those who offered succour to Saddam by arguing in effect (and sometimes explicitly) that he should not have been toppled. Prize example: Ron Paul. Saddamites lubricate:

Saddamy: The rape of everything decent in the world by dictators and terrorists.

Anarcho-Saddamites: Saddamites who advocate anarchism as well as appeasement. Found at ISIL,,, etc., and even on SOLO (Riggenba'ath et al).

Pomowanker: Postmodern jerk-off. Identifiable by, among other things, sardonic sniggering, a self-indulgent propensity for Polish (q.v.) and weasel-words, prefacing anything remotely resembling an opinion with "I'm not sure that" or "It could be argued that," never stating an opinion outright but insinuating by sneering irony that it's not intellectually respectable or defensible actually to hold an opinion on anything, much less a positive opinion. Nihilism in academic drag. Closely related to Polish (q.v.).

Pusball: Pomowanker.

Academia: Biggest single repository of pomowankers and pusballs.

Brandroids: Worshippers at the various shrines to Nathan and Babs Branden. Sycophants who exhibit precisely the same blind devotion to the Brandens that the Brandens ascribe to Randroids when it comes to Rand. Committed to moral equivalence and/or outright moral inversion and the avoidance of moral judgment, except moral judgment against anger. Anger in the Brandroid lexicon is not merely the biggest sin (except when it's their own) but the only sin. Brandroids readily look past the lying, smearing and opportunistic gold-digging of their icons.

O-Lying: ObjectivistLiving. One of the shrines to Nathan and Babs, populated by Brandroids who couldn't lie straight in their beds. Their specialty, nay their obsession, is finding flaws in Ayn Rand, even blaming her for her husband's "alcoholism," which "alcoholism" we now know to be a Babsian smear. Prominent O-Liars are Psycho-Professor Robert Comprachico-Campbell ("Hero-worship is inappropriate for adults") and Neil Parille ("I am a humanity-diminisher").

Namblaphile: Adult/child-sex advocate of the kind defended by Babs Branden and the O-Liars.

Headbanging caterwauling: Most contemporary "music," most notably rap-crap. hip-hop, punk, etc.. The musical sphere of pomowankers. Nihilism set to cacophony.

Musical maggotry: Headbanging caterwauling.

Music of the Gods: Romantic music, objectively the best.

Warts and Binswanker: Peter Schwartz and Harry Binswanger, whose conscientiously obnoxious snottiness set the tone of the ARI culture for way too long. That culture, thankfully, has been quietly discarded. Or has it? See Hsiekovians.

Child-molesters of the mind: New Zealand's Ministry of Education, and Comprachicos everywhere, e.g., Psycho-Prof Comprachico-Campbell (q,v.).

Fascists of the Left: modern "liberals," the most illiberal of all.

Islamo-Fascist Filth: Muslims who take it seriously.

Anal-retentives (not original to me): In the Objectivist context, the type of emotionally repressed, neo-puritanical prigs whose constipated comportment, which they mistakenly think is mandatory for Objectivists, suggests they have cacti up their recti. Prize example: Binswanker (q.v.)—"After one beer it's immoral."

Prissyholic: Species of the genus anal-retentive. Prize example: Phil (Mistress Phyllis) Coates, awarded the title because of his services to the conquest of insomnia with his interminable, finger-waving, hectoring schoolma'am lectures about civility. "Never mind what Adolf did, just don't be rude to him."

Brandbourne Californian Christian Temperance Union: Alco-nazis headed up by wowsers Babs Branden and James Kilbourne who believe it's their divine duty to "intervene" publicly in the lives of those who partake of alcohol and condemn them to Californian "therapy."

The Californian Therapy Culture: Brandroid BS. Mumbo-jumbo for psychological cripples (Beverley Hills hippies). Psychobabble for sissies. Charlatanism for schmoos. Witch-doctory for wimps with more money than sense.

Psychobabsle: Babsian psychobabble.

Solipsistic Objectivist monologuer: An Objectivist bore.

Goblinism: Belief in the lonely goblin (aka God) who got bored one day and created humans to lick his butt—and a place of eternal punishment for those who didn't. There are many types of Goblinism. All are stinking, stupid superstitions.

Goblianity: Christian Goblinism.

Islamo-Goblinism: Muslim Goblinism.

Gobby: The lonely goblin's nick-name.



Going out: "Going out greatly improves one's chances of meeting people. Clearly it is a practice studiously to be avoided and arguably criminalised."

Bodybuilders: "The unsavoury performing the unseemly in pursuit of the unsightly."

Exercise: "A form of self-flagellation for those who don't have a whip handy."

Dieting: "Another form of self-flagellation for those who don't have a whip handy."

Women: "A form of self-flagellation specifically for men who don't have a whip handy."

Women: "There is no cure for women known to man."

Drinking problem: Not drinking enough.

Severe drinking problem: Not drinking at all.

More on drinking: "I sincerely hope I'm never arrested for anything. They might find blood in my alcohol."

Growing old: "Why can't we be left alone to grow old disgracefully?"

Solitude: "The most edifying thing about solitude is the company."

Muslims: "The only good Muslim is one who doesn't take it in the least bit seriously, or who did but has died."

Muslims: "Muslims should be sodomised as they bend towards Mecca so they may know how their goats feel."

The Kiwi accent: "Not an accent, but a disease."

Anchovies: "If I wanted that sort of thing I'd be heterosexual."

( categories: )

Paul Dianno

Landon Erp's picture

I love that song. I love Paul Dianno. Though the "sequel" of sorts durring the Dickenson era "22 accadia avenue" wasn't so inspiring.

It also prompted a comment from an old bandmate that "That was the song that proved you can't to an 8-minute epic about a girl who really likes to give blowjobs."

Not that we ever would've tried that... no the topic came up for a reason completely unrelated to the fact that we were actually about to attempt it...

Yeah that's the ticket.


Inking is sexy.


Olivia's picture

Charlot the harlot show me your legs
Charlot the harlot take me to bed
Charlot the harlot let me see blood
Charlot the harlot show me your love. Wink


Ross Elliot's picture

In 1980, the seminal British heavy metal band, Iron Maiden, recorded a song: Charlot the Harlot.

Tasty lyrics. Supreme riff. Anyone else remember it?

Why, Sandi, you lift her

Ross Elliot's picture

Why, Sandi, you lift her habit gently, say "Pardon me, Sister", and then proceed to show her exactly *why* Eve ate that delicious apple Wink

Quoting Ross:  "It had been

Sandi's picture

Quoting Ross:  "It had been a hard habit to break... "

How do you break a habit without hurting the nun??

I was drunk, and my friend

Adam Buker's picture

I was drunk, and my friend Charlot made me put it on. And I looked fabulous! Smiling

I'm still straight as a ruler though (sorry Linz)


James Heaps-Nelson's picture

Now, now Ross. Are you holding out on us or something? Do you have your own special convent somewhere?


Ross' hand trembled as he

Ross Elliot's picture

Ross' hand trembled as he wiped perspiration from his feverish brow. Cruel mutterings of discipline had sent him into an unseemly lather leaving him almost incapable of writing the title to his next article:

Rational Ribaldism: I spank, therefore I am?

Goddamn those years in the seminary! Cassocks forced aloft like circus tents! A quick fifty off the wrist from the Mother Superior! The holy water high colonics from Sisters Poodenda, Lah-bia & Clytoris. Those naughty nuns. It had been a hard habit to break...


PhilipC's picture


> A good spanking might be

PhilipC's picture

> A good spanking might be just the thing to ... er ... switch me.

You're just flailing around looking for a pun


Prima Donna's picture

Adam, sweetie, the dress is there something you want to tell us?


-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

A pun like that deserves

Adam Buker's picture

A pun like that deserves twice the "punishment."

You never know, Kelly ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

A good spanking might be just the thing to ... er ... switch me.


(Yeah, I know, the worst pun in the history of SOLO, if not the universe.)

No way, Jose!

User hidden's picture

After Linz completely turned me down, rejected me, trod upon my sensitive feelings, and disappointed my hopes, there is no way I am going to spank him now. He'd have all the fun, without having to do any of the follow through.



Prima Donna's picture

Whuppin'? With a paddle? I knew you'd come around, you cad. Of course, Ms. Elmore might fight me for the honor of bestowing said punishment. She's kinky like that.



-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

My very fav...

Olivia's picture

Committing Saddamy Smiling


Lindsay Perigo's picture

Regina—spelling duly corrected (hands over paddle for whuppin'). A thousand apologies. (Please, Miss, may I have another?)

And of course I realised that not to acknowledge Your Majesty's regal stature would be a capital, not merely corporal, offence.


"Prissyholic" added to list. How could I have phorgotten Old Phart Phil? Smiling


Prima Donna's picture

If you are going to sully my name, Mr. Perigo, could you at least have the decency to spell it correctly? Smiling


P.S. Thank you for noting my regal (ha!) stature.

-- Food Philosophy. Sensuality. Sass.

Thank you Lindsay

Sandi's picture

Thank you Lindsay,

Enlightenment with coffee, a great way to start the day.

Eprime: Yes, Aotearoa is a Maori word for NZ. It basically means
"Land Of The Long White Cloud".

There are a few versions of how the name actually came to be. If you have the time, its interesting reading.

More definitions

eprime75's picture

Thanks for posting your dictionary of Linzisms. To tell the truth, I wasn't quite sure what a pomowanker was, only that it was someone who was bad. Now for a question. Linz, you often use the term "People's Republic of Aoteara", is "Aoteara" the Maori word for New Zealand? Thank you for your response. Paul

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