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Linz's Mario Book—Updated!
Who Should Be the Republican Nominee?
Total votes: 15
As if you needed more proof
Submitted by Joe Idoni on Fri, 2005-12-23 12:31
On my way home from work this morning, I heard a news story about a thwarted assassination plot against President Bush. Apparently the Al Qaeda 'Operations Director' was directly linked to the obviously failed attempt.
I just have one thing to say about that: Terrorists are stupid.
I know that they all want to die and have their 40 virgins, but do they not understand the hierarchy in the United States government? If they kill the stupidest president in recollection, they only harm themselves. Do they think that ultra-capitalist Dick Cheney is going to roll over and make oil prices higher for his beloved Halliburton? Yeah, ok. Or maybe they were hoping they'd get old Dick as well. Let's go down the list for the infidel pigs.
You kill the top two, and we move to J. Dennis Hastert, Speaker of the House. Decidedly a republican and a friend of the nation of Turkey. Not doing so well you anti-life pigs.
Kill him and we move to President Pro Tempore, Ted Stevens. Guess what? Not just a Republican, but also a WWII vet. Pretty good bet that he doesn't like you, you filthy death worshipping swine.
If he dies (which is pretty likely since he's 82 years old), you get the quadruple-whammy: Condoleezza Rice! Not just a Republican, but also a woman, black, and fiercely loyal to the President you killed. Oh yeah, and she's smart as shit. You hashish smoking, sword toting sons of dogs are just batting 1000, aren't you? (Do you heathens even have baseball? Or math for that matter?)
And I could go on and on. Bottom line, you silly sons of whores (no offense to those people I like who actually had whores for mothers), you're better off NOT killing the president.
And frankly, so am I. I doubt I could take months of mourning and proselytizing about that moron.
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