At the End of my Fucking Tether! :-)

Lindsay Perigo's picture
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Thu, 2007-07-05 07:38

Sometimes the manifestations of this Age of Crap send me right off the deep end, as folk might have noticed on occasion. When I read in yesterday's paper that some halfwit gum-chewer about to decide Keith Quinn's fate didn't even know who he was, I went off. For the benefit of non-Kiwi SOLOists, Keith Quinn is a veteran TVNZ sportscaster, knowledgable, skilled and attractively quirky, a colleague of mine in my own TVNZ days. Part of the furniture in our collective lounges for four decades, now facing the chop from state television (TVNZ).

Here I am then, going off, in a letter to the editor:


Dear Sir

It was with incredulity that I read (Keith Quinn? Who are you?—DomPost, Wednesday July 4) of a TVNZ employee who may be about to axe Keith Quinn’s job ... not knowing who Keith Quinn was! Then I reminded myself that this is, after all, the Age of the Airhead, and TVNZ was long ago pronounced “braindead” by some wise person whose identity eludes me. The bimbo in question works for, or rather occupies space in, the company’s Human Resources department. Such departments are another bane of our time, issuing forth great torrents of MBA-speak as empty as it is pretentious.

TVNZ attributed the airhead’s ignorance to a “generation gap.” It’s not a generation gap—it’s an intelligence, standards and knowledge gap. State television has faithfully mirrored state education in dumbing itself down, and must now cater to and employ the latter’s imbecilic progeny. To a generation that has no clue what an apostrophe is for it serves up newsreaders who emulate flight attendants, emphasising prepositions and conjunctions and throwing away nouns, in a complete travesty of how news should be read. It serves up interviewers with the fashionable Attention Deficit Disorder who cannot even listen, let alone sustain a linear train of thought. It promotes children’s hosts whose vocabulary barely extends beyond “cool” and “awesome” and whose speech is all nose and no brain, under the guise of encouraging our “national identity” (shudder). It drowns the text of its programme trailers in a cacophony of headbanging caterwauling (to which it also repairs at other times on the slightest pretext) thereby rendering the content of its own promos inaudible.

TVNZ is a morass of moronry. It should be privatised forthwith. Not that TV3 and Sky aren’t just as tacky and slavishly “mod” in their wretched obsession with screech over substance, but at least I’m not compelled to be an involuntary, disenfranchised shareholder in them.

Meanwhile, to the redoubtable Keith Quinn I say—take heart! When all around you are lunatics, you’re better off out of the asylum.

Lindsay Perigo

( categories: )

Spot on, Peter

Ross Elliot's picture

"... it often seems that news events are considered as secondary importance to reactions to news -- or at least the imagined reactions to the news, as guessed about by the news reporter".

Wonderful observation. I can only put it down to the general level of touchy-feeliness and the attempts at consensus-building that are so prevalent these days. And with so much angst having been automatised by the bed-wetting liberals, it's easier to get a wail and a tear out of them than a rational thought.

I don't know which is worse: the soporific BBC or the cringe-inducing TVNZ.

Letters to the Editor July 17, The Press

JulianD's picture

Letters to the Editor July 17, The Press

Lindsay Perigo sums it up beautifully when he describes TVNZ in general and the newsreaders in particular. Good on him for his criticism of the pap and how it is presented. Kevin Foley

I do not always agree with the choice of the Letter of the Week, but I wholeheartedly agree with Friday's choice of the letter from Lindsay Perigo. It was a well deserved win. Louise Stone

Ignorance is Bliss.

I agree with most of Lindsay Perigo's view of TVNZ , Keith Quinn being the exception.

I consider an ignorance of him to be a blessing. How lucky that person has been not to have heard the dribbling, the spluttering and the irrelevancies that passed for commentary.

J Tod.


Letter published Friday the 13th.

JulianD's picture

Letter published Friday the 13th.....Smiling


Akaroa Ack!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Lindsay Perigo wins Akaroa salmon and a Croxley pen.

Don't they know salmon makes me gag? How many times do I have to tell folk—if I wanted that sort of thing I'd turn heterosexual.

Julian - was the letter published this morning or earlier in the week?

Letter of the week: TVNZ Braindead

JulianD's picture

In this morning's Press here in Christchurch, the letter of the week was awarded to.......Lindsay Perigo. Lindsay Perigo wins Akaroa salmon and a Croxley pen.


I would like to know though

Peter Cresswell's picture

I would like to know though Linz what do you mean by "...emphasising prepositions and conjunctions throwing away nouns..."?

E.g.: emphasising prepositions AND conjunctions... AND throwing away nouns...

On a related note, it often seems that news events are considered as secondary importance to reactions to news -- or at least the imagined reactions to the news, as guessed about by the news reporter. For example, how many times do you hear the news read as follows: "Consternation as...," or "Controversy today in ...," or "Joy today at...." followed by a news event about which you'd like to make up your own mind.

The events to which these emotions are supposedly ascribed are made of less importance by this manner of delivery than are the emotions we're invited to feel. Rather than the news event being reported, the grammar of the delivery instead makes the consternation, the controversy or the joy the real news -- and all too often these are elements imagined and introduced by the news reporter.

Good for you Linz

JulianD's picture

And I must say that The Press appears to be a much better paper than those from up north.

I would like to know though Linz what do you mean by "...emphasising prepositions and conjunctions and throwing away nouns..."?



Lindsay Perigo's picture

The Christchurch Press have just rung to say they *will* be publishing this.

And of course I'll be making a big noise about it when I start my upcoming radio gig next week.

Now the DomPost ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

... are refusing to publish on the grounds of length. I said to the editor, "We both know length is not the reason you won't publish, don't we Suzanne?"

Keith Quinn...

Ross Elliot's picture a wonderful chap, and certainly the voice of my childhood when it came to sports commentary & documentary. He's got the type of voice and delivery that you can listen to for hours; not quite James Earl Jones, but in that ballpark.

I wondered why in recent years I hadn't heard or seen much of him, but now it's obvious. TVNZ cretins, but what's new. I saw pretty anchor Wendy Petrie trying to do a live remote a few weeks back, but without her teleprompter and padded chair, the poor girl was all adrift and stuttery. The art and skill of talking to the viewer has all but gone, and the parlous state of school language, diction and reading skills--anti-skills--is to blame. We reap what we sow.

I hope Prime or Sky is smart enough to give Keith a job. I'd love to see him and Murray Mexted covering an All Black test.

love it

mvardoulis's picture

Not being a New Zealander, I still get the gist of what you're saying and appreciate the swipes at state-run television. Reminds me of your many comments regarding the Bolshevik Broadcasting Company... Smiling

All the best to your former colleague the "Mighty Quinn", Linz.

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