"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it"

Can someone pass this map on to Otani.... I seem to have lost him.

Looks like something I'd like, I've added it to my 'to buy list'.

I recommend you buy 'Parliament of Whores' to get Started. P.J. is a gem.

And let's not neglect Tim Minear's brilliant direction and scriptwriting for Firefly and Serenity. Hell, I even named my cat Captain Malcolm Reynolds

"That sounds like the Alliance. Unite all the planets under one rule, so that everyone can be interfered with or ignored equally."

"A government is a body of people usually notably ungoverned."

"Zoë: First rule of battle, little one… don't ever let them know where you are.
[Cut to Mal, firing behind himself as he runs toward the two.]
Mal: WHOO-HOO! I'M RIGHT HERE! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O' ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON!"

"The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop."

"When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators."

"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."

"Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich."

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."

P.J. O'Rourke is brilliant!

I own all of his books except the latest, and can't wait to find that one too. I reread them frequently, and laugh out-loud every time.

The man is a comedic genius.

Melissa

"Shiny. Let's be bad guys."

P.J. O'Rourke: "The forces of safety are afoot in the land. I, for one, believe it is a conspiracy— a conspiracy of Safety Nazis shouting "Sieg Health" and seeking to trammel freedom, liberty, and large noisy parties. The Safety Nazis advocate gun control, vigorous exercise, and health foods. The result can only be a disarmed, exhausted, and half-starved population ready to acquiesce to dictatorship of some kind"

Yes! Drew Carey, I had all but forgotten about him. I haven't heard of P.J. O'Rourke though, time to head to wikiquote

...P. J. O'Rourke, Dennis Miller, Drew Carey, and the ever entertaining duo Penn and Teller.......Oh, and me.

"I see those fishing shows where they catch the fish and throw it back in the water...ok so they don't want to kill the fish but they do wanna make it late for something."

That's very much like Mitch Hedberg's style, if you like that I think you'll like Mitch
"Mitch Hedberg (24 February 1968 – 29 March 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his odd subject matter, subdued delivery and memorable routines that often consisted of a string of one-line non sequiturs."

"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, he said,"Here's a picture of me when I was younger." Every picture is of you when you were younger. "Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "You son of a bitch! How'd you pull that off? Lemme see that camera!" "

"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."

"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."

"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it"

"I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly."

"If you trust in yourself... and believe in your dreams... and follow your star... you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy."

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

"They can ta'k our lives but they can never ta'k our freedom!' Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker..."

"The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp."

"God moves in extremely mysterious, not to say, circuitous ways. God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, [ie., everybody.] to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time."

and my personal favourite:
"“Just because someone’s a member of an ethnic minority doesn’t mean they’re not a nasty small-minded little jerk ...”"

rather like Dennis Leary... (although he may not view himself as a comedian, as such)

His Libertarian monologue in the film 'Demolition Man' and various amusing criticisms of political correctness make him a good man in my book.

(A chap all the other chaps can trust, so to speak)

The best satirical program of the past 20 years has a strong pro freedom message

South Park. 

Dennis Miller:
"He's (Michael Moore) going to wake up every day for the rest of his life, and he's going to tell us how he hates everything about this country except his right to hate it. And then we say that we love it and he's going to tell us what naive sheep we are and that he's the true patriot because he hates it and he sees all the problems in it. Yeah, right, Mike. You know something, if my yawn got any bigger they'd have to assign it a hurricane name, okay? Michael Moore simultaneously represents everything I detest in a human being and everything I feel obligated to defend in an American. Quite simply, it is that stupid moron's right to be that utterly, completely wrong."

"Hey folks, tonight I wanna talk about global warming. Now, The World is Hot and Flat Society is growing increasingly hysterical and that indeed is causing me to sweat a little. In the last month or so, I've heard suggestions that those skeptical of Al Gore's spiritual crisis are deniers and one good way to serve the planet would be to have one less kid and I've also read that mankind is 'a virus' and human beings are 'the AIDS of the earth.' Global warming is officially becoming creepy and I can't tell yet if it's facisitc or fetishistic but it's kinda like piercing or tattoos, I don't even wanna get one, because I see how hooked people are and it spooks me. I just find it odd that we've come to a point in history where if I don't concede that if Manhattan will be completely submerged in 2057 I'm thought to be a delusional contrarian by some of my more zealous fellow citizens. I'm sorry Angst Squad, but if we commissioned a public works project (let's call it 'The Manhattan Project') and tried our hardest to submerge Manhattan in the next 50 years, we couldn't pull it off, mainly because it wouldn't be environmentally sound and you guys would hang it up in the permitting process."

"Relax, we'll replace oil when we need to. American ingenuity will kick in and the next great fortune will be made. It's not pretty, but it is historically accurate. We need to run out of oil first. That's why I drive an SUV: so we run out of it more quickly. I consider myself at the vanguard of the environmental movement and I think the individuals who insist on driving hybrids are just prolonging our dillemma and I think that's just selfish."

...but H. L. Mencken was perhaps one of the most insightful reporters of all time, and absolutely hysterical to read.

"Theology is the attempt to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not-worth-knowing."

"All government, in its essence, is a conspiracy against the superior man: its one permanent object is to oppress him and cripple him. If it be aristocratic in organization, then it seeks to protect the man who is superior only in law against the man who is superior in fact; if it be democratic, then it seeks to protect the man who is inferior in every way against both. One of its primary functions is to regiment men by force, to make them as much alike as possible and as dependent upon one another as possible, to search out and combat originality among them. All it can see in an original idea is potential change, and hence an invasion of its prerogatives. The most dangerous man to any government is the man who is able to think things out for himself, without regard to the prevailing superstitions and taboos. Almost inevitably he comes to the conclusion that the government he lives under is dishonest, insane and intolerable, and so, if he is romantic, he tries to change it. And even if he is not romantic personally he is very apt to spread discontent among those who are."

"When a candidate for public office faces the voters he does not face men of sense; he faces a mob of men whose chief distinguishing mark is the fact that they are quite incapable of weighing ideas, or even of comprehending any save the most elemental — men whose whole thinking is done in terms of emotion, and whose dominant emotion is dread of what they cannot understand. So confronted, the candidate must either bark with the pack or be lost... All the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum. The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron."

"The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by such learned dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe--that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power, and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent."

"God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos: He will set them above their betters."

"The New Deal began, like the Salvation Army, by promising to save humanity. It ended, again like the Salvation Army, by running flop-houses and disturbing the peace."

"Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard."

"It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office."

"A man full of faith is simply one who has lost (or never had) the capacity for clear and realistic thought. He is not a mere ass; he is actually ill. Worse, he is incurable."

Steven Wright is another great comedian.