You will get your chance to humiliate Lance at SOLOC III, and all attendees will be the lucky beneficiaries of this fortuitous event.

BTW, I need a solid date for a weekend in April, as I have convinced my wife to take a small holiday to Daydream Island during SOLOC III so you guys can all sleep indoors.

She has gracefully accepted and now needs to know what dates she can book for. Please choose the most appropriate weekend in April and let me know.

Thanks

Hilton

I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by stumblers carried in the starless night, -- blown and flared by passion's storm, -- and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains.- - Robert Green Ingersoll

Oh dear, had a bottle of pinot noir to go with the steak. Wine of course being a diuretic...

Incidentally they are making a wine which is an anti-diuretic it's called pinot more ... 'wamp wamp waaaaaaaaaaaaaa'

Then don't breath through your nose when urinating

 One of my favourite vegetables, which we have a fridge full of at the moment. Will give this a whirl tomorrow.

Just tried this (adjusted as a serving for two) it's really quick, colourful, looks good and tastes great. Served as a side to steak (with sauteed mushrooms, splash of red wine and garlic). I set my oven to 200c and did them for ten minutes... perfect!

Roasted Asparagus with Feta and Bacon:

2 pounds asparagus stalks, washed and trimmed
2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil
Coarse salt
Coarsely ground black pepper
1 (3 1/2- to 4-ounce) log soft feta cheese, crumbled
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon grated lemon peel (zest)

Cook bacon in heavy large skillet over medium heat until brown and crisp. Transfer to paper towels and drain. Crumble bacon; set aside.

Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 500 degrees F. Arrange asparagus on large rimmed baking sheet. Drizzle with 2 tablespoons olive oil and turn asparagus to coat well. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. Roast asparagus until crisp-tender when pierced with knife, about 7 minutes.

Remove from heat and arrange asparagus in single layer on platter. Sprinkle with feta, then bacon. Drizzle with lemon juice and remaining 2 teaspoons oil. Sprinkle grated lemon peel over. (Can be prepared 1 hour ahead. Cover with plastic wrap. Let stand at room temperature.)

Makes 6 servings.

Lance, you will eat my potatoes and conceed immediately. It's that simple.

Hilton, sorry to make you wait for the masterpiece, but if I gave the recipe to you now, it would spoil the whole Lance-humiliation.

Eat it Mitch, eat it!

Lance

Did some taties like you said tonight, and they were unfuckingbelievable.

Thanks mate

Hilton

I admit that reason is a small and feeble flame, a flickering torch by stumblers carried in the starless night, -- blown and flared by passion's storm, -- and yet, it is the only light. Extinguish that, and nought remains.- - Robert Green Ingersoll

Mitch, Mitch, Mitch, can't you see that was just me trying to draw you out? How much have I really given away? And how much have you?

Giving up your secrets before a title bout!?

You'll have to do much better than that if you want to rival MY masterpiece!

And BTW, peeling potatoes is extreeeeemely girly.

Peel and cut potatoes into 'single bite' pieces.

Place in saucepan, fill with water.

Turn stove on high. On my stove, 10 mins is enough to parboil.

Drain water, tip potatoes into roasting dish, leave to steam off excess for a minute.

COVER in olive oil. Lots is good .

Sprinkle as much rock salt as your arteries will tolerate over the taties. (I tend to err on the side of a coronary)

Roast for 40-50 mins at about 200-220.

Crispy golden delight!

Variations:
Add rosemary/other herbs.
Some Cajun seasoning.
Marinade the taties in an olive oil/balsamic/redwine marinadey thing.
Add crumbled feta cheese.

We'll see.
Dom dom dooooooooooom (dramatic music)

medium rare, with the sauce on the side please.

However, if you think you can lay claim to "world's best roasted potatoes" without challenge, you'd better think again my friend.

You're going down pal.

Steak with blue cheese sauce, served with the world's best roasted potatoes.

Yum!

Mitch can bring one of his girly salads to serve on the side.

Well, I won't have any of that healthy muck. It comes from that girly "football" game Mitch plays every weekend.

Main course:
Steak with blue cheese sauce, served with the world's best roasted potatoes.

Mitch can bring one of his girly salads to serve on the side.

Comes from never leaving Timaru.

I have never experienced said calamities from my crockpot.

I can see what has to happen now—a mini-SOLOC in Wellington at which Mitch and Lance strut their culinary stuff.

"Bugs love that low heat, and many a stomach ache and ejaculatory asshole has been fueled by such devices."

Well that was graphic.

...you be careful with that slow cooker. Bugs love that low heat, and many a stomach ache and ejaculatory asshole has been fueled by such devices.

I say cook everything at 1,000c and you can't go wrong. Holds true for most metals as well.

... Mitch.

Claudia: strangely enough, or not, I guess, I use as many different lettuce types for a salad as I can find, so my salads look decidedly scruffy, as scruffy, indeed, as myself. And now I fortunately find that I should not be dressing up my salads, but dressing down. My life, surely, is complete.

Oh, and the Key point to remember about tupperware is that is it 'so' National: found in many state houses, it has got that slightly blurred, opaque surface so that you can't be quite sure of its contents, and when pressure is applied to it, the rubbery/plastic substance will bend to the whim of the vote holder. I suggest to you that Libertarianware would be glassware: tough and unbending.

We didn't have any dressing. It's beautiful without.

On salads without bacon, chicken etc, I drizzle olive oil. The traditional italian way I believe. And/or some lime/lemon juice.

So long as your veges are nice and fresh, and you add avocado and olive (especially avocado!), you should never need too much of a dressing.

Mark. Some of us have tried to tell you.... the best dressing is a suit!

Do any of you guys know what sort of Tupperware I should buy to store my salads in?

Sounds pretty good, but what do you dress that with?

What I seriously need is dressing recipes. 

Eh, not a fan of a 'salad course'. Serve it on the side if at all in my opinion. I'd rather be uncouth than a bloody rabbit.

do you chaps do much entertaining? dinner parties?

The reason I ask is that the salad course comes after the meat course and is not meant to be 'heavy' (some lettuce and a bit of tomato is sufficient)...just a thought

Vegetable is a subjective culinary term, not a botanical one. Avocados could qualify as a vegetable. Still a salad.

Noun. a usually cold dish consisting of vegetables, as lettuce, tomatoes, and cucumbers, covered with a dressing and sometimes containing seafood, meat, or eggs.

www.dictionary.com

A sprig of parsley on a steak constitutes a salad in my book.

"Is it green? Check. Is it raw? Check. Ergo salad"

have no idea Davey. That no longer constitutes a salad.

Put lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado, and green pitted olives together into a salad.

- Fry 3 cloves chopped garlic, 1 chopped chilli. Place in the salad.

- Fry bacon and chicken (as much or little as you want). Place in the salad.

- Devour with or without miniature roast potatoes.

YUM!

Haiku: The Wrong Salad

You made mistakes,
So I Fixed it for you,
Now that's a salad.

gross!

I made a delicious salad tonight. Much nicer than Lance's 'overnight salad'

- Put lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado, and green pitted olives together into a salad.

- Fry 3 cloves chopped garlic, 1 chopped chilli. Place in the salad.

- Fry bacon and chicken (as much or little as you want). Place in the salad.

- Devour with or without miniature roast potatoes.

YUM!

Well I have no delusions of being a chef, but I think a little more effort can go in to home cooking than just making food 'not cold any more'. I despise salads unless they have meat in them somewhere. They just seem so blech, salads are like the anti-food.

I do have one salad recipe though that takes 24 hours preparation, tastes fantastic, and can actually fill you up on it's own (plus it has bacon).

Lance's 'overnight salad':
1 Iceberg lettuce
Celery
Spring onion
Water chestnuts
Frozen peas
Several strips of bacon
Couple of hard boiled eggs
Mayonnaise (thick American style)
Sour cream

Shred lettuce into long thin strips (like you'd do with cabbage if you were mad enough to eat it) take half the shredded lettuce and place in the bottom of a very big salad bowl.
Slice water chestnuts thinly and place them in a layer a couple of slices deep on top of lettuce
Do the same with celery and spring onion. Then a layer of frozen peas.

Repeat all over again, leaving a small gap to the top of the bowl. Do a 50/50 mix of sour cream and mayo to fill the bowl, so you have like a half inch (or more) thick layer.

With the bacon, cook as much as you like chop and sprinkle on top, my salads have a layer of chopped bacon that covers the surface pretty much. Same goes for the eggs.

Leave in fridge overnight, the frozen peas keep everything crisp and the water chestnuts (quite foul things on their own) absorb the flavour from the spring onions and celery.

Serve with a spoon in such a way that the salad self dresses with the mayo/sour cream mix as you serve it.

I just love your style of cooking. It sounds exactly like mine! I bought my Crock-pot for $25 from Cash Converters and I use it everyday. It's the best. Throwing in frozen meat is the best. By evening it just falls off the bone from being cooked in all its own juices. I love Coc-au-vin done this way, with plenty of Shiraz, bacon, mushrooms, carrots and onions flavoured with loads of fresh sage and thyme. Mmmm.

self employed != cash flow
And I happen to LIKE cooking
That being said, there is quite a lot of opportunity with my freelance work that I'm not taking up.

love how you have, quite sensibly, sent your lady Wife out to work ...(you are a role model for all married men!)...whilst you focus on more important activities, like self employment and changing the World.

Still scratching my head as to why you do not hire a cook.

(Sounds a lovely meal though)

If you serve up the lamb shanks then leave the juices to cool overnight in the crock pot with the lid on. In the morning there will be a thin layer of fat that you can scrape off and discard. Underneath there will be a lamb and red wine flavoured jelly.

Place as much butter as your heart can handle in a pot on medium heat.
Place 1 finely chopped (or blendered if you're as lazy as me) onion in pot, give it a couple of minutes to soften, add as much cubed beef/lamb as you desire and brown all over.
Add 1 can of whole peeled tomatoes (or fresh, whatever floats your boat).
Add 1-2ish cups of boiling water.
Add the lamb/red wine jelly.
Reduce to medium heat for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally.

And that's your basic base for the stew, from there add whatever takes your fancy. I typically add mushrooms, some bisto, splash of balsamic vinegar, worcestershire sauce, mustard, fresh herbs, salt/pepper, MORE wine, whatever is handy.

Serve with mash taties, or add some thickening agent and turn it into a pie.

So that's two tasty meals made with minimal fuss and minimal time allowing you to carry on plotting the revolution.

Mmmm browning the meat first does make it taste much better, but I try to get away without doing it, purely out of laziness. I've tried slow cooking chicken in crock pots before but it always tastes...funny. Much better to roast it up nice and crispy like.

Lamb stew, with left over lamb juice and reduced wine.

"Stew, it's not just for plebs"

Always cook with a wine you'd be happy to drink.

I'm going to subscribe to this thread!

I've come late to long, low heat cooking, having preferred tender cuts, pan cooked to keep the lamb pink inside, however, with lamb shoulder, shanks etc, I do something very similar to this, but had not thought of cooking in wine (what an idea). My practice has been to slit into the meat six or seven garlic cloves, brown the - whatever - joint in the roasting dish over a flame, then cover in boiling water (to about 1 inch deep in the pan), throw in a couple of onions (unpeeled) and carrots, then cook all day. By tea time, the meat just falls off the bone, I break it up with my fingers (no need to carve), put it into a dish and sprinkle fresh mint over it. (Talking about lovely shanks, I think I got this off Nigella Lawson on the Food Channel).

But cook in wine! Excellent. Why have I not come across that before: it's such a simple concept. I gave up the cigarettes nine years ago, (although ASH have just about put me back onto them several times), so it's a nice, flavoursome beer while preparing the food (perhaps three on Friday nights), a red wine with the meal (or two), followed by a whiskey on the rocks after (or three).