What is the basis of love and friendship? Many Objectivists have maintained that shared intellectual values are paramount for a romantic relationship or friendship. I went through a stage myself where it was probably extremely important for me to surround myself with people who shared my intellectual values. I was still learning about my chosen values and who better to learn and develop with than those who shared my values and in many cases knew much more than I did?

After a while though, you realize you really limit yourself with the "shared intellectual values" criteria. In romantic relationships, I realized I wanted to be silly and playful when I came home from work and I wasn't too worried about projecting masculine strength. I already had the deep, multilayered intellectual and personal sharing of Objectivism, higher mathematics, chemical engineering, physics, chess, tennis, evolutionary psychology etc. with my younger brother so I didn't really need that in a romantic relationship.

I met my romantic soulmate on a vacation in Hawaii. She was beautiful and had the most curious, questioning, expressive eyes I'd ever met. She and I cemented our relationship hiking down the N'Pali coast on the west side of Kauai. She really impressed me because she wasn't afraid to get muddy and perservere to the end of the 3 mile trail. Since then, a whole new world has opened up to me. I've made a start at learning Mandarin and my wife has put up with me during several relocations in the semiconductor industry. We've hiked in about a third of the National Parks in the United States.

I've been married to Rita for 4 years and known her for six. She's the love of my life and she has little interest in Objectivism. She's generally pro-capitalist in a wanting to be rich way, we both spend very little money, work long hours and share our spare time together.

Jim