The NZ Cricket Team

Mark Hubbard's picture
Submitted by Mark Hubbard on Tue, 2008-02-12 07:53

Their first two one day tests with the English are starting to convert me to mysticism, as there is no rational explanation for their performance other than they have been possessed by Gods, surely?

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Any chance we had in the

Mark Hubbard's picture

Any chance we had in the third test just went out with Fleming.

Two wickets straight after tea. Don't drink tea! This is what it does to you. 


Lindsay Perigo's picture

Jesse's going to be talking to the media tomorrow. It'll be tearful apologies for being a "bad role model" and much hand-wringing about "addressing" his anger and alcohol "issues" ... I expect I shall be sick constantly.

Since he can only speak in the bromides of his airhead contemporaries, I wish he'd just come out and say, "I fucked up. Now get the fuck over it and fuck off."

Again, the problem with NZ cricket ...

Mark Hubbard's picture

... is NZ cricketers.

They couldn't be naffed, after the rain stopped, to spend half an hour finishing a game their fans had paid to see, but they could go drinking to 5.30am. Pathetic. I'm thinking perhaps they were already drunk below the stadium, so couldn't stand well enough to come back out after the twenty minute rain.

And then this on NewsTalkZB:

A psychologist believes New Zealand Cricket should have kept a closer eye on batsman Jesse Ryder, given his history of alcohol and disciplinary related problems.
The 23-year-old is out of the game for three months after injuring his hand while smashing a window at a Christchurch bar early yesterday morning following New Zealand's one day series win over England. He has undergone surgery and will not be able to play cricket for three months.
Team management say alcohol was involved, although it is unclear how much Ryder had had to drink.
Psychologist Sara Chatwin says despite his impressive performances on the field, sportsmen need to realise they are always under the microscope and the bar incident will prove Ryder's critics right. She suggests there needs to be scrutiny of the mentality of going out after a game to drink, or drinking to get drunk.

You're right, summer over, I might just concentrate on Super14.

Fortunately ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

.... for us couch potatoes there was Super 14 to watch.

I had a ghastly sense of deja vu after the openers were dismissed, but rain and Billy Bowden's not-out for Vettori when he was as out as I am saved the day. All rather deflating. Crusaders made up for it though. Eventually. Once they woke up.

Game Report: Fifth ODI Test in Christchurch

Mark Hubbard's picture

Overall an excellent day was had, but with a severe deflation at the end leading to further thoughts on the problem with cricket today: being cricketers.

[Actually two gripes. To AMI Stadium staff management: providing one coffee stall, that is, one espresso machine that can make two coffees at a time, to provide coffee to a crowd of somewhere between 20,000 and 30,000, 15,000 of whom wanted coffee at half time, this was dumb arse capitalism as could only be organised by bureaucrats.]

The day started excellently, because I was going to the cricket with a friend. We arrived in good time, got a park easily, and took our seats in the stadium, and enjoyed 'moderately' enjoyable cricket with England batting in the first innings. Not many highlights, but good competent bowling from NZ, that luckily made up for woeful fielding at times.

The second innings then started with the superlative batting of McCullum, 77 runs off 30 something balls: absolutely stunning, and even shut up the cretins in the cheap seats. The poor English bloke sitting next to me went into what could only be called a state of shock. Oh had this continued - it did not. The NZ batting after McCullum, and then Ryder were outed was uninspiring to awful (Flynn, Oram). By the time the rain came it appeared the whippet Vettori was probably going to save the day, but given the middle order collapse, if his wicket were lost, then there was no guarantee at all of a NZ win.

Which brings me to my gripe. It rained for about twenty minutes, throughout which time there was not a single announcement via either the PA system, or the big scoreboard about what was going to happen, or whether the game was in fact over with a win gained under Duckworth Lewis. Indeed, by my reckoning two thirds of the stadium went to their cars. We stayed on determined to hear a result. It then stopped raining, Billy Bowden came out, as did the groundsmen, looked around: no announcement. No announcement. No announcement. It had not been raining for ten minutes when a PA announcement was finally made (forty minutes after the advent of the rain) that the game would resume in ten minutes at 9.45pm. First question, it was already dry for ten minutes, the players presumably were waiting below the stadium, why wait another ten minutes? By the time they were due to start they could have been playing for twenty minutes and easily have achieved a result by 10.00pm.

Then, finally, ignominy. At 9.45pm nothing. At 9.50pm another announcement that the referee was going to talk to both captains. Result: the captains apparently decided that they did not want to continue (the exact words!), and would accept the NZ win under Duckworth Lewis.

Second question: England could have won that test: why did the English captain not say no, we want to finish the match, we do not accept a loss. There is no rain, to the field please.

Third: why did Vettori not push for a finish so we fans got full value for our money? It was not fucking raining.

Conclusion: cricketers are wusses of the highest order who have never heard of the concept of 'overtime', even twenty minutes. A lot of English (especially) and NZ fans left that stadium very, very pissed off.

A tie! I am still going

Mark Hubbard's picture

A tie!

I am still going to a decider on Saturday - well, of sorts. We can only win, or draw now. Saturday's going to be a good day.

The cricket it incredible.

Mark Hubbard's picture

The cricket is incredible. Not good enough to watch the Internet scorecard anymore, canning work for the day and off to see if I can find it on a screen somewhere.


... You see this is what happens when your wife doesn't allow you to have Sky Sports. Neighbours are away ... 

Well that's decidedly more

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Well that's decidedly more depressing: according to my CNN email alerts, Obama is going to take it out for the Democrats.

Emphatically. Then he spoke for 45 minutes. That'll larn 'em.

Ryder gone for 39 (125%

Mark Hubbard's picture

Ryder gone for 39 (125% strike rate).

Now what mettle have the rest of them got?

Well that decidedly more

Mark Hubbard's picture

Well that's decidedly more depressing: according to my CNN email alerts, Obama is going to take it out for the Democrats.


Lindsay Perigo's picture

I've been watching the Wisconsin primary! Smiling

That Ryder is something

Mark Hubbard's picture

That Ryder is something else. Finally an opening batsman.

It's only half time on the

Mark Hubbard's picture

It's only half time on the fourth test, but I reckon I'm watching a decider this Saturday Smiling I'm looking forward to the game. NZ's batting this afternoon is going to be fascinating though.

Well if whatever you're

Mark Hubbard's picture

Well if whatever you're doing involves your computer, then here's a live streaming score card and commentary. Great site, carries just about every game of cricket there is, world-wide. On games like this I just set it going while working, and keep my eye on the bottom tab for the updating scores.

Oh groan!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

I'm not able to watch for other reasons. Now I'm glad.

Third test in progress ...

Mark Hubbard's picture

Me and my mouth. Linz, 70/5 and under three runs an over: shouldn't someone be calling Mitch about now?

Heretic Hubbard

Mark Hubbard's picture

Hey, with my background, that would be a name to carry with pride. I rather like it Smiling

Heretic Hubbard

Lindsay Perigo's picture

[Although at the risk of sounding treasonous, I'm partly hoping the English will pull something out of the hat in the next two tests, as I've tickets to the fifth and final in Chch Saturday week, and would like to be going to the excitement of a decider.]

The hell with that. Kick their sorry pommie asses to the other side of the moon all five times I say.


gregster's picture

There had to be a guiding light somewhere. Just as well, I'm going to Eden Park this Friday, and we'll be on the juice.


Excellent Linz,

Mark Hubbard's picture

Excellent Linz, particularly because, with the foundations back in place, I can now go back to a life of passionate reason. And well done Mitch.

[Although at the risk of sounding treasonous, I'm partly hoping the English will pull something out of the hat in the next two tests, as I've tickets to the fifth and final in Chch Saturday week, and would like to be going to the excitement of a decider.]

It was me

Lindsay Perigo's picture

The other night I had dinner with Mitch and his parents. Mitch has been helping the Black Caps out with practice (yeah, stand by for the next new star—it don't stop with Jesse). I told him to tell them what would happen to their lower orders if they didn't KASS up. The result is the veritable miracle you saw last night.

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