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Linz's Mario Book—Updated!
Obleftivist Yawon Bwook says Donald Twump is "THE villain of our time." Which of the following best accords with your view?
Yes he is
He's not a villain but a hero
Putin might be a bigger villain
The mullahs might be bigger villains
ISIS might be bigger villains
Ugly Wimmin might be bigger villains
Black Lives Matter might be bigger villains
Snowflake moronnials might be bigger villains
College professors might be bigger villains
Fake News outlets might be bigger villains
Pomowankers might be bigger villains
Obleftivists might be bigger villains
None of the above—specify
Total votes: 10
Memo to Bleeding-Heart 'Libertarians': Grow the Fuck Up!
Submitted by Peter Cresswell on Sun, 2008-06-22 23:46
[Note from Linz—I've taken the liberty of lifting this post by Oirishman O'Cresswell from the More Accurate Badges thread as it deserves maximum prominence. It's a response to one of the Politically Correct bleeding hearts on that thread who presumed to be offended on behalf of all "right-minded" people" on the subject of Mordis, their gravy-train, their excuses and their inferior culture. If anyone reads it and is not offended, I apologise.]
"This post is deeply offensive - yes, offensive - and just plain wrong."
Oh yes, you're absolutely right.
Thank goodness that right-minded folk like yourself exist to ensure that none of use say anything inadvertently offensive. God Bless.
Perhaps you could help out we less enlightened folk by drawing up a charter to ensure readers are never inadvertently assailed -- nay, assaulted -- with bad thoughts, bad jokes, or actions likely to bring Objectivism/SOLO/Libz into disrepute -- especially since everyone here is speaking in the name of Objectivism/SOLO/Libz at all times. Can't be too careful. Might offend some right-thinking person at any moment.
Perhaps you two right thinking persons, Richard and Luke, could draw it up -- perhaps with a committee of other "right-thinking people" -- since you're both such obviously outstanding ethicists in their own right.
Perhaps Wikipedia will already have a list you can use?
By the way, what do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? Answer: A taffy apple.
Please tell me if that should that be banned because it's offensive? Would I be a wrong thinking person for laughing at it? Perhaps you can tell me when you get the stick out of your own arse.
I need to know, is that sort of joke too offensive, and just plain wrong? Because I'm only an ignorant cracker arsehole, and I just can't tell.
Or how about this ...
Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Or Irish jokes ...
Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
Or Jewish jokes...
Two Jews walking down the street pass a pretty girl going the other way. "Boy," says one, "I'd like to lend her one."
Q: What's a Jewish dilemma?
Or German Jokes...
Q: How do you tell the Lufthansa planes at the airport?
Or French ...
Q: Describe the French national flag?
Or other jokes about Welshmen...
Q: What do you call safe sex in Wales?
Q: How do you starve a mexican?
Q: How do you break a Canadian's fingers?
Q: What do you use to blindfold a Chinaman?
Q: How do Chinese name their babies?
Two families moved from Pakistan to America. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet - in a year's time whichever family had become more American would win. A year later they met again. The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?" The second man replied, "Fuck you, towel head."
Jokes about Australia ...
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Australia?
Q: What do Australians girls put behind their ears to make themselves attractive to men?
Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
Q: Why did god create women?
Q: What's the best thing about dating a homeless chick?
Mothers in law...
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
New Zealanders (again) ...
Q: What do you call a kiwi with a sheep under one arm, and a goat under the other?
Q: Why are NZ sheepdogs such fast runners?
Q: What's better than winning the para olympics?
Q: What do you say to a woman with no arms and no legs?
Q: What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in your bath?
Q: How do you tell when an Indian boy becomes a man?
Q: What do you say to a Paki at Xmas?
Q: Why can't Indians play soccer?
2 Indian heroin addicts injected curry powder by mistake. Both in intensive care !!
Q: What do you call 500 pakis running down the street
Q:What's emptier than the non-alcoholic beer aisle in an Irish store?
I went to a Muslim birthday party last night.
I see police have released the names of 2 of the Glasgow car bombers:
New website to investigate. It's for muslim terrorists to get in touch with long-lost pals.
The Metropolitan Police found a carbomb outside Finsbury Park mosque. Luckily, they managed to push it inside before it went off.
Q: How do you make an Aborigine pregnant?
Q: What do Aboringines use for birth control?
Lad comes home from school and says to his mum "I've got the biggest knob in the third year, is it cos I'm black?". She says "No its because you're 19 you fucking retard".
Q: What do you call a black man with a BMW?
And white men...
Q: what's white, hard, and 9 inches long?
Q: How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
Q: Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
Sure Jesus loves you, but does he swallow?
Q: How do you circumsize a Mormon?
Q: What's the difference between a Catholic priest and acne?
And Michael Jackson...
Victoria Beckham has announced she had an affair with Micheal Jackson; Jacko's lawyer said its all lies as he was in Brooklyn at the time.
And Stevie Wonder ...
From 'Rolling Stone' magazines interview with Stevie Wonder: "Stevie, what's it like being blind?"
And Mike Tyson...
Q: Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
And the KKK...
Q: What's the KKK's favurite film?
Did you hear about the leper playing cards? He threw his hand in.
And old people...
Q: What's 60 feet long and stinks of piss?
And South Auckland:
Q:Why do people in South Auckland go to garage sales?
Ferrari's F1 team manager decided to employ some South Auckland teenagers as their new pit crew. This was because of their renowned skill when removing car wheels quickly. At the first practice session not only did they change all four wheels in 6 seconds but, within 12 seconds, they had re-sprayed, re-badged and re-sold the fucker to McClaren for 8 cans of Cody's, a bag of weed and an all-year pass at McDonald's.
Q: Why do they call camels ships of the desert?
New client asks lawyer how much he charges.
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
Q: What does a redneck say when she loses her virginity?
Q: What's redneck definition of a virgin?
Q: If a man and woman are married in West Virginia and move to California and get a divorce, are they still brother and sister?
And I have to presume there'd be no, abolutely no, under any circumstances, jokes like these about the sainted tangata whenua allowed ...
Q: What do you get when you cross a Scotsman and a Maori?
Q: What do you get when you cross a Maori and an octopus?
Q: What does a Maori get for Christmas?
Q: Three Maoris and an Islander get into a car. Which one drives?
Scientist are trying to combat crime by combining the DNA of a Maori and a Samoan.
Q: In a race between a honky and a Maori through a tunnel, who would win?
Q: What's black and white and rolls down a hill.?
After complaints that there aren't enough Maoris on TV, TVNZ has vowed to solve the problem.
Maori walks into an employment agency.
Here's just some of the new Maori television line-up for June:
The Young and the Jobless,
All far, far, far too offensive for right-minded folks, I'm sure.
In fact, why not just give up humour altogether. Far safer. Let's not even think about laughing at jokes like this:
Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?
But even if you don't laugh you can still be in trouble. "It's great being a Jewish comedian," says Jewish comedian Josh Howie. "If people don't laugh it's not because you're not funny, it's because they're Nazis."
That's Howie's Hitler joke above, by the way. Did you laugh? Bloody Nazi. And also by the way ...
Q: What's the definition of a bigot?
So, point made?
Perhaps we could all simply listen to the wise advice of Hugh Laurie's former comedic partner Stephen Fry:
'It's now very common to hear people say, "I'm rather offended by that", as if that gives them certain rights. It's no more than a whine. It has no meaning, it has no purpose, it has no reason to be respected as a phrase. "I'm offended by that." Well, so fucking what?'
Or Bill Hicks:
"And I've got something else to say to those people who say, 'I'm offended', like some five-year-old child throwing a tantrum. Ready? There are a lot of things in life that are offensive, life itself can be offensive, I myself have a large list of things that offend me...So what!? Grow the **** up! We now live in the 'Age of being offended.' Get over it. Perhaps a little open-mindedness, tolerance, and acceptance may be the antidote to what ails you. Try it and see if your load isn't lifted just a bit. See if your pinched face of fear doesn't relax a tad. Why don't you exercise a little of the faith you say you believe in so much etc etc....you're offended by this material? Well you offend me, where can I send my letters? Huh!?"
In other words, grow the fuck up.
And to paraphrase Johannes Brahms, If there is anyone here whom I have not yet offended, I beg his (or her) pardon.
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