SOLO-NZ Press Release: Don't Ever Forget Who Labour Are! (A Trotter Parody)

Phil Howison's picture
Submitted by Phil Howison on Tue, 2008-07-22 06:36

So you're thinking of voting for Labour? After nine years of the same old faces, you don't think it's time for a change?

Well, you're not alone. According to the opinion polls, there are about 750,000 people out there who are thinking what you're thinking.

But before you - the 35 per cent of the electorate contemplating no change to the status quo, the 35 per cent of New Zealanders who make up Labour's core vote, who are happy to let Labour wield unbridled parliamentary power and be free to govern alone for three long years – vote Labour, I would ask you to take a closer look at the people you will be joining.

THE DOLE BLUDGERS: Fallen on hard times; deserving of pity; lazy; ignorant; penniless for good reason.
These are the people who prefer to smoke dope all week at taxpayer expense.
The people who leech off our tax dollars while contributing nothing to society, and still expect to have their education and health care paid for by workers.
The people who have nothing, and aspire to nothing.
The people whose children fill our jails. The people who grow weed, commit burglaries and violent crimes, and still qualify for state assistance. The people who make entire suburbs virtually uninhabitable, and yet rail against the slightest decrease in the money they get for nothing.
These are the people you will be supporting when you vote Labour.

You will also be supporting:
THE CHARDONNAY SOCIALISTS: Well-educated; analysts of policy; robbers of rights; bastardisers of culture; selfish; arrogant; and possessed of an indefatigable sense of moral superiority over everyone who drinks beer or works in the private sector.
These are the people who, with the Resource Management Act, stripped from hundreds of thousands of land-owning New Zealanders the legal rights they had enjoyed for hundreds of years.
The people who pocketed massive salary increases (kindly supplied by their political representatives) even as genuine workers suffered from rampant inflation.
The people who begrudge every last fraction of economic freedom. The people who care only about their preferred 'arts' and 'culture' being subsidised by the taxpayers of New Zealand. The people who regard education principally as a means of preserving their ideology. The people who think our health system wastes far too little money on all the disadvantaged, uneducated and poor people cluttering it up.
These people, too, you will be supporting when you vote Labour.

And then there are:
THE STUDENT POLITICIANS: Defenders of the faith; upholders of 'progressive' Maoist values; sadistic; bigoted; deranged hankerers after a world that - thankfully - passed away in 1989.
The people who think prisons should be abolished. The people who resent having to treat men, heterosexuals, ethnic majorities and the able-bodied as human beings. The people who think anyone who laughs at a politically-incorrect joke is an example of “the oppression of the hegemony”. The people who detonated bombs and assaulted police during the Springbok Tour, thought Vietnam and Iraq were worse than the genocides perpetrated by Pol Pot or Stalin, and support unilateral disarmament and gun control. The people who promote the worst-case-scenarios of climate change in order to handicap New Zealand industry.

Yes, these are the people you will be joining when vote for the status quo. The people who have undertaken every single stupid socialist reform that New Zealand has ever suffered under - yes, every single one.

Of course, no one can stop you joining them.

They're in charge of our semi-free country, after all.

But, please, before you vote, ask yourself: "Is this the company I want to keep?"

Phil Howison philip.howison@gmail.com

SOLO SOLOPassion.com

With special thanks to Chris Trotter


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And so has the poster!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

If he wants to sign up under his real name and genuinely argue a point, he's welcome. As it is he appears to be some kind of nutball stalker obsessed with Callum. He's been here before.

Oh...the post has gone...ha

Elijah's picture

Oh...the post has gone...ha ha

http://www.nzcapitalist.blogspot.com/

I am unsure which annoys me

Elijah's picture

I am unsure which annoys me more....your monstrous assault on the English language or your childishness.

Perhaps it is you who needs to go outside more...(burn off some excess energy and experience reality as it exists)

http://www.nzcapitalist.blogspot.com/

Excrement stuff, Phil!

Jameson's picture

I swear I could hear the Soviet National Anthem humming over the horizon as I read that... Smiling

Don't blow your load...

Mitch's picture

just yet Olivia! This one is a certainty for Samizdat this month. Smiling

Fantastic Phil!

Ho ho...

Olivia's picture

I figured if I went to twenty, only ten would kick me out... perhaps that's me being overly optimistic.... rare these dark days.

Only ten?

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Doing a Barrycourt, were we? Evil

Oh yes!

Olivia's picture

Very dizzy of me.

there will probably be another blog from me shortly, telling you all how I got booted out of ten bars in one night.

Lady S

Lindsay Perigo's picture

If you click on Printer Friendly Version you can print out as many as you wish for the Ponsonby Pseuds.

DB!! Eye

Great piece...

Marcus's picture

The question is rhetorical though because those three groups (together with union supporters) are the ones who make-up those 30% of core Labour voters.

Very good Phil...

Olivia's picture

send me some copies and I'll distribute them personally to all the bars along Ponsonby Road. Hit the pompous Chardonnay Crowd in one fell swoop. Eye

Hahahaa!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Great, Phil! Now a presser, as per our phone conversation. Smiling

Wow

Luke H's picture

Sheer brilliance!

Phil, gosh, you have really

Elijah's picture

Phil, gosh, you have really hit the nail on the head! Laughing out loud

"....Fallen on hard times; deserving of pity; lazy; ignorant; penniless for good reason.
These are the people who prefer to smoke dope all week at taxpayer expense.
The people who leech off our tax dollars while contributing nothing to society, and still expect to have their education and health care paid for by workers.
The people who have nothing, and aspire to nothing.."

Oh so true! Barf! ....and how I wish I could set aside the 'non initiation of force' concept and start machine-gunning this demographic. Richly deserved for them, and doing God's work for me. Sticking out tongue

(god I hate poor people)

http://nzcapitalist.blogspot.com/

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