This morning I agreed to have breakfast with one of my chums, Benjamin, who is 19, amazingly cute and gagging for it, but alas not my type..(in the sense he is not for sale and refuses payment, alas)..ummmm...oh! ..ummmmm...(nevermind)

Anyway....he had an American friend with him, Thomas "call me Tom, buddy"...(it took some minutes to explain to me that "buddy" was not his surname and what it actually meant, but, gosh, there we are)...and this American chap declared himself a "Liberal Democrat, buddy".

Now...as someone who enjoys chopping up and spitting out socialists...(purely for the sport) ...I was eager to get into conversation with this "Call me Tom, Buddy" chap.

I asked his views on the death penalty and, predictably, he is against it, considers it barbaric, and has protested against it on numerous occasions....standing outside prisons in the middle of the night holding an "Execution Is Murder" sign when someone is about to be fried or lethally injected.

Ha ha ..so far so good ....

I then asked if he believed the law should apply to everyone equally, without exception?

Answer: oh yeah, man, you better believe I do...everyone is equal under the law, buddy

Ha ha ...so far 'even better'

So I then moved in for the kill ...(as you do)..

Q. Tom, I therefore take it you believe that Timothy McVeigh should not have been executed and should still be with us?

A. Oh, ummmmm...f**k man, what kinda question is that? of course f**king not!

Q. But you just told me you were against the death penalty, and protested against it regularly, and considered the law applies to everyone equally....I therefore take it you are not a liar and hypocrite and were opposed to the execution of Timothy McVeigh and protested against his execution?

A. [Silence and gasping]

Q. Tom? can you hear me? ...you seem to have gone pale...