Hey Scott - this kind of thing is a bummer. You did the right thing by writing the letter. I'm sure you were so pissed off at the work they did on your car that it was all you could do to keep your lion in the cage.

Chin up! This kind of thing is an exception, not the rule.

I wouldn't underestimate the power of being the "bad guy." Especially when you are also the "right guy." Even though they may hate your guts (and you theirs), I bet they respect you - not that you give a damn about their respect, but when you make enemies of the kind you've just described, it usually means that you're doing something VERY right. So take some pleasure in the fight.

Your typical sort of working class/middle class Italians. The husband and wife both cut hair (huge surprise). The husband has a City job (big surprise). The "family is always right" types.

I actually hate Italians. Seriously. Like, every group of Italians I have ever met with rare, rare exception. The cultural part of it. The older men all expect their asses to be good and kissed, despite the fact that they are usually complete morons and mistaken about anything they tell you, the younger guys are Sopranos wanna-be's, the younger women are bossy big-mouthed bitches with stupid cow-eyes and no brain who follow the crowd. Italian mothers are about the only ones I can ever get along with--and my mother isn't even Italian (Irish-French)! It is a rare, rare family of Italians I can get along with. It seems they want to fit you in a role and if they cannot they get nervous. I think I get along with Greeks better because Greeks tend to have a real independant streak in them culturally, though alot of them do have the same bullshit you see in Italian families.

The vast majority of my friends are Polish. You will get the suspicious stare from some of the parents (at least I did when I was younger) but by and large, I get along with them famously. Not sure why, but it is too consistent to be a complete fluke.

I am still mad about all of this, because I am the guy who got screwed but I also get to be the "bad guy." I have written all of these folks off. Never want to see them or hear from them again. They can go fuck themselves.

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

What a bunch of dripping wet bloody pansies.

"Oh! How rude of you to send a written complaint to a repairman who botched a job on your $35,000 car in such a way that could have unnecessarily endangered your life in a crash, let alone fucking up the mechanical reliability of the thing"

Let me hazard a guess (it's Friday, I'm feeling like a gamble). Would these chaps be upper middle class, members of Chicago's chardonnay sipping set?

That is, people who only have a fleeting acquaintance with the real world.

I spoke with the mail neighbor and explained that I was not out to ruinanyone's life, and that I was sorry that they took it personally and that they are offended and though it was rude to send a letter rather than speak with them directly.

Doesn't seem to matter, appears as though friendships are ruined regardless. Still, I know that I am 100% right, and it is THEY who have ruined friendships.

Sometimes, I hate people.

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

The next time it is mentioned, ask in as loud an indignant voice as you like whether the GF herself, her sister, her relatives whether they really want the GF to be driving car that will fold up like cardboard if she crashes it again - because you most certainly do not. Wait to hear a pin drop then exit the room indignantly.

If nothing else you might get some err... benefits from demonstrating your affection for the lass.

And the next time you get put into this situation mention that the insurance/authorities/bank etc. will only allow you to go to their man, "but thanks for the offer of help."

If you want revenge, just start recanting your story in a loud voice (so others can overhear) with your drinking buddies in bars all over the city... Word of mouth: no firmer friend and no worse enemy of the small businessman.

Otherwise, console yourself with the fact that this sort of thing could happen whether it was through a family friend or not. I can't count the times that I've been screwed over by crap mechanics.

Yes, I know it is really not funny. Especially if you are working hard elsewhere, and don't have time for this kind of crap. But one thing is true, life goes better with good people around you.

www.michaelnewberry.com

All in the eye of the beholder.

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

Mitch: You're taking the piss, right?

 Yes, I found the whole thing funny. Perhaps go the other way around? Find the owner of a good repair shop, ask his daughter for the name of a friend to date? 

www.michaelnewberry.com

Hey Linz, yessir had a faaaabulous time w/ James and Holly. Saw Casey and the Limber's, too. Wonderful, wonderful people. You should have been there.

Where have you been hiding?! Late night drinking with James I hear! Poor boy has been ill ever since!!

Scott, thanks for sharing your story. It reminds me of one time years ago when I tried to help out the "little guy" where I used to live in Maryland. I needed a new trash pick-up service and it was between the local establishment called Superior Trash Collection and the big, corporate Waste Management.

In an act of self-sacrificial goodwill, I decided to go with the local business in hopes of helping them stay afloat. Well, I gave them $150- to provide a year's worth of trash pick-up and they came one time! before going out of business. Bastards! I was pissed off and I still am! The folks at "Superior" knew they were screwing me over when I signed up.

I've had this kind of thing happen only a few times and I've noticed that they only get me when I'm tired.

The moral of your story Scott, I think, is to find the best mechanic in town. A guy you can trust 100% with your car. A guy who wants your car to run well. With a guy like that we wouldn't fall into any traps like the one you fell into.

PS - you'll be able to laugh about it one day I hope.

That has to be some of the worst advice I've ever seen.

Dump her because of her driving ability maybe (however you'll be a lonely man if driving ability is your criteria for selecting a woman ), but because of her sister's friend's father's inability to fix a car? Still sound like a good idea Mike?

You're taking the piss, right?

Dump the girlfriend. If she involves you in a bad arrangement, what makes you think that she is giving you a value? Maybe it is her way at getting at you?

I don't think this has anything to do with work and friendships. Good friendships/lovers created good things.

www.michaelnewberry.com

I thought, and still do that it was absolutely the correct thing to so--customer to vendor. No personal stuff, just the facts and a request that his business be responsible for some of the repair costs--some, not all.

I am glad that you formulated a different response than Linz, who seems intent on reducing my sexuality to a volitional bad choice. Or series of bad choices.

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

Well, why didn't anyone say so sooner?

Seems all of these hassles stem from playing for the wrong team!

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

I can be too aggressive. I sent the third draft, after 2 friends slapped some sense into me. Very factual, no accusations or insults. I promise!

Scott DeSalvo

www.desalvolaw.com
FREE Injury Report and CD Reveal the Secrets You Need to Know to Protect Your RIGHTS!

Scott, after cutting the father a break previously, is livid. He cools down for a week, then writes a factual letter with the problems, not wanting to involve girlfriend, girlfriend sister, or best friend neighbors.

This was the right move. Being man-to-man about it. Perfect.

The fact that he then involved "the women" is most girly-manish of him and totally despicable.

Also, the women need to be told in no uncertain terms to back the #### off! No behind the scenes micro-management in the name of personal friendships allowed. It's business.

I have had friends do work on my car before. Accountability is out the window - business interests and friendship interests aren't easy, I agree. Money is so simple. You always write instructions for a mechanic never just tell them what you want. Goes for any trade. Then agree on the price. This must not be the other way round.

We have just thrown our painters out half way through their job on our house because they were so shit. If shit hits the fan which it can do, then you question the tradesman business habbits, integrity and logic in his arguement. If that was friend under this sort of scrutiny, I think we can all see how personal it would become.

Avoid girlfriends like the plague.

Business and friendship don't mix.

I've seen this situation a few times. It's very difficult to avoid once "help" is thrust upon you by a friend, cause you would have been the asshole if you'd refused the help in the first place. Right? All you can do is close your eyes and cross your fingers.

"BASED ON FRIENDSHIP Scott sucks it up."

Shouldn't have done that.

Do you have a copy of the letter that you can reproduce? Only reason I ask is that your writing can be...er...direct sometimes. Not that there's anything wrong with that.