Party Girl: Why the Republicans should pander to the likes of Paris Hilton, rather than belittle her.

Urban Parks's picture
Submitted by Urban Parks on Wed, 2008-08-20 12:40.

I am 27 years old and, admittedly, have more in common with Paris Hilton, than Cindy McCain or Michelle Obama. My BlackBerry is filled with dates, dinners and address book entries like:"dbag don't answer", not grocery lists, soccer practice or entries such as: "kids school". Yet, politics is a business. The GOP has traditionally catered to the "old, wrinkled white man", the Democrats to the bleeding hearts. But where does the career minded, progressive, fashion obsessed woman stand?

There is no party courting us young, independent women. The closest is the Democrats, championing the working single mother. The Republicans seem solely concerned with the family as a whole-or at least that's the perception. The truth is, a bunch of us are holding off on marriage and families in order to focus on our career and ourselves because that's what we want. It's frustrating to be seen as a type of arm candy, when we influence our friends' minds by stating facts, bring up our concerns based on the quoting of statistics and enjoy partaking in a friendly political debate. The choices we make are not based on emotion and feelings, but research and the need to make an informed decision. The progressive woman feels the need to cut the ties of government from her life like a deadweight beau. Two stale, musty topics come up constantly: abortion and gay marriage. These are seen as the non-issue, issues. With all of the terrific forms of birth control out there, abortion should ultimately disappear from the rusty, crumbling foundation of both parties platforms. Nobody wants to discuss it anymore and the decision was passed before we were even conceived. As far as gay marriage is concerned: if somebody is able to put their life on the line in order to uphold a countries freedom, should they not be able to enjoy just as much of it as everyone that they defended? Whittle down the true issues and give us solutions, not finger pointing and simplistic distractions. It's about time for a Republican Party overhaul. Clean house, tidy up, less is more. As Thomas Jefferson said "Every generation needs a new Revolution". Where is ours?

Yes, we spend. A LOT. Aesthetic appearance is important to us. We must look good in order to feel good. Gym memberships, facials, wardrobe this all goes back into a rather sluggish economy. Thus, more money in our pockets means that we can afford to lay out the six hundred plus dollars for that killer pair of Louboutins (can you say stimulus check, "b*****s!") and help to contribute to a stronger dollar. The need to go out every night used to be fueled by our willingness to interact and socialize and my own personal mantra that "every night is a weekend", now it is fuel that keeps us away from dancing on tables and instead, sitting in front of one at home. The rising price of gasoline and food due to the implementation of a mandatory percentage of ethanol in petrol, along with the fact that our salaries do not reflect a cost of living increase has put a serious lock on our Prada wallets.

Fashion forward as much as politically minded, this is no simple life. Learn to relate to us and you have yourselves a wealth as great as a pipeline in Alaska would be! Lay off our adorable clutches and let us feed you through the ancient practices of bartering and trade. Stop coming to us with your hands open, like that old boyfriend who still lives in his parent's basement because then you will be listed in our Blackberries as: "dbag don't answer". 


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Oh goodness! I LOVE

Urban Parks's picture

 "Douche-Canoe", Oh goodness! I LOVE it!!!! I'm stealing "twink" also because it sounds funny! 

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


So sweet! Thank you!

Urban Parks's picture

So sweet! Thank you, Sandi! Smiling

 

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


For the record...

Matty Orchard's picture

I think you will find that 'Douche-Canoe' is SOLOs current insult of choice.


Gidday Urban sPark

Sandi's picture

where does the career minded, progressive, fashion obsessed woman stand? ummm......Behind a shop counter with credit card in hand? (wink)

I look forward to more of your posts.

"Who is John Galt?"


 Ben Said: "Why isn't

Urban Parks's picture

 Ben Said: "Why isn't there a young single woman running for the Republicans even if its for a seat they know there gonna lose?"

Because we are all out husband hunting!!!!!!!!

In all seriousness though, I am working on something. I was nominated for a seat on a Republican Committee. Can you imagine an Atheist, classical liberal, fun machine like myself helping stop or pass policies as a Republican?! Wahooooooooooo!!!!! Besides being a bit more...reserved...does anyone have any advice? 

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


I think we have the same

Ben Morgan's picture

thing here in gods own government owned. Though the leader of our nations sad excuse for an opposition party has made a big effort in resent months to give presentations to university students.

Why isn't there a young single woman running for the Republicans even if its for a seat they know there gonna lose. All of the woman who hold office for the Republicans seem to be promoted as being good mothers first and every thing else second (the governor of Alaska comes to mind).

Contrast that with the GOP presidential candidates, McCain the war vet, Ron Paul the Doctor, huckaby the hunter, Romney the successful businessman the fact they have kids is seldom mentioned. Yet if a woman runs the first thing that gets mentioned is that she like being a mother ect.

 

"We reserve the right to live"

Benjamin Netanyahu former prime minister of Isreal


Thankies, Jameson! Okay,

Urban Parks's picture

Thankies, Jameson!
Okay, given or taken...well, my friends gave it to me. Its my nickname. It was decided that I needed to write under a pseudonym for my families safety bc of yes, my connection to Bosch and The Infidel. "Pigman's" family and mine go back at least 25yrs. He is one of my closest friends:).
Have a wonderful night!

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


Ahhh,my favorite

Urban Parks's picture

Ahhh,my favorite insult...dbag...its just perfect. Sometimes I say the whole word or just half. Any combination is an accurate description of the individuals to whom I'm referring.
I'm glad you got a laugh:). Best!

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


Welcome aboard, Urban :-)

Jameson's picture

I have to ask, is that your given or taken name? And are you connected in some way to our resident Pigman?


Urban wrote: Stop coming to

John M Newnham's picture

Urban wrote: Stop coming to us with your hands open, like that old boyfriend who still lives in his parent's basement because then you will be listed in our Blackberries as: "dbag don't answer".

LOL priceless. I have a woman friend who uses FFace instead of dbag.


Urban S.

Urban Parks's picture

:D

Thanks for reading, guys! Yay!

Urban S. Parks

Mainspring Comics


Urban Parks ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

... about to become Urban Orchard? Eye


Pinch me

Matty Orchard's picture

I'm in love.


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