Ten Worst New Zealanders

Peter Cresswell's picture
Submitted by Peter Cresswell on Thu, 2006-02-23 03:16

A few local bloggers have listed their ten worst New Zealanders, predictably including the likes of Roger Douglas and Ruth Richardson (or proxies for them) even though the economic golden weather we are presently enjoying is in many ways due to the reforms they both instituted (and which have been left largely untouched by the Clark-Cullen Government) -- and unpredictably including the likes of Sarah Ulmer. Sarah Ulmer for goodness sake!?

Another point on which I differ from the other list-compilers (apart from a sense of perspective) is that with very few exceptions I don't believe there have been any truly evil NZers in public life (well, maybe just the last two on my list). For the most part they've just been either bumbling mediocrities or slimy power-lusters who as a result of their meddling and manipulation have made others lives more difficult than they needed to be, (or in the case of Robert Logan or William Massey spread disease inadvertently).

And I've only selected nine, still leaving one spot for your own suggestions. Come on, convince me.

  • Robert Muldoon - an easy target, to be sure, and a deserving one. For nine years he lay across NZ's political, commercial and social life like a dead weight. Once his Government was finally deposed, the feeling of fresh air sweeping through the country was almost palpable.
  • Simon Upton - this poseur brought in and administered the worst violation of property rights since the war, the RMA, and presided over and was responsible for the tragic contaminated blood scandal. Asked before the fragrant fool headed off to a Paris sinecure whether he regretted anything in his political career, he proudly declared, "Nothing gnaws at my soul."
  • Lord Douglas Douglas Graham - speaking in the wake of giving millions of dollars of taxpayers' money to Ngai Tahu for things those taxpayers hadn't done, Graham declared: "The sooner we realise there are laws for one & laws for another, the better." No one did more for separatism in NZ than this former Minister of Apartheid and certified pompous arse. When first selected in the safe seat of Remuera one of the selection board confided afterward that it has always been considered that National could win the seat if it put up a donkey as a candidate - "and that's just what we've done this year," said the worthy gentleman. It is a fitting epitaph.
  • Julius Vogel - a Keynesian before Keynes, and a Muldoonist before Muldoon. An inveterate booster and meddler and a believer in big government -- we largely have him to thank rather than the later Fabians for beginning NZ's accelerating growth of government -- his profligate borrowing to pay for 'Think Big: The Vogel Years' almost bankrupted the small, young country, destroyed lives and dreams, and led to almost twenty years of depression. Unlike many of the others in this list, Vogel at least had the shame to leave NZ and retire in disgrace -- but not before extracting a taxpaid pension from the bankrupt government.
  • Russell, McVeagh, Simpson, Grierson, Bell, Gully, Sue, Grabbit & Run, et al - simply gruesome all of them. Hip-deep in sharp practice, legislative chicanery and monopolistic bullying the lot of them. Dick Cheney did a good thing when he shot one of their breed. I like to think it was intentional on Cheney's part.
  • Marie Clay - a turner of minds into mush. The woman whose 'Look-and-Guess' approach to reading taught three generations of New Zealanders how to be illiterate.
  • Colin McCahon/Ralf Hotere - producers of Emperor's' New Clothes for those too blinded by pretension to see it.
  • Pick a missionary - any missionary. Introduced native New Zealanders to Western mysticism when they were still enmired in their own, before earning their trust and using it to sell them out.
  • Te Rauparaha /Hongi Hika - these two stone killers murdered, enslaved, raped, looted and had eaten thousands of pre-European NZers (and more than a few Europeans as well), ceasing only when they could call on law and a new Treaty to protect their conquests. Truly evil.

TAGS: History, New Zealand

what about the fat slag that

michael fasher's picture

what about the fat slag that runs the commerce commision she virtualy has the power of an economic dictator

Sarah Ulmlmer WTF!!!

michael fasher's picture

Peaple I know who have met her have said shes one of the nicest peaple you could meet but i assume its the stupid anti mcdonalds anti capatalist morons.
Next year a production version of her time trial bike will be sold by Avanti called the Chronos and will be the firtst New Zealand designed bike in the Tour de France next year in the time trial,you heard it here first

How about

Hayden Wood's picture

Margaret Pope.

What a

Elijah Lineberry's picture

great forum topic!

My 10 Worst New Zealanders...

10. Michael Savage, creator of the Welfare State.
9. Don Brash, idiotic Reserve Bank Governor, who (astoundingly) lost a safe National seat to Social Credit.
8. Else Locke, Communist author who gave birth to Communist Keith.
7. John Campbell, keeps the red flag flying.
6. John Kirwin, now everyone thinks they are "depressed".
5. Jim Knox, Communist union boss.
4. Helen Clark, would the list be complete otherwise?
3. Rob Muldoon, ditto
2. Bruce Hutton, corrupt Policeman.

and the Number One worst New Zealander...

Terry Clark, "Mr Asia" Crime Boss.

Evil bitch!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

But I already called her that, & got sent to Parliament as punishment! Smiling

Oh come on. Surely you can't

Tim S's picture

Oh come on. Surely you can't go past bitch-face Clark! Bolger was just a moron. Clark is an unrepentant, gloating, evil bitch.


Olivia's picture

I agree with Lindsay - Dave Dobbyn for inspiring a national song called "LOYAL" so a whole lot of repressed-loser-piss-heads can feel all warm inside when they watch the All Blacks, or the Olympics, or any other NZ sporting hero who they mistakenly believe needs their support. I mean why didn't he just write a rendition of Kumbaya and be done with it? Someone's singing my Lord...

The Tenth

Lindsay Perigo's picture

James Brendan Bolger would have to be a strong contender. The buddy of William "Think Big" Birch, another strong contender. As Prime Minister Bolger began promisingly by letting Finance Minister Ruth Richardson attack welfarism. He strode with her through the hail of bullets. But when the sheeple registered their displeasure by ballot, he dumped Richardson & put Birch in her place, thereby destroying the crucial momentum needed to finally turn the country round. Lange's "breather and a cup of tea" became a lie-down and a cup of hemlock. In 1996 he went into coalition with supposed arch-enemy Winston Peters, a big spender. When he retired from politics, he was offered the post - by the new Labour Governmment - of Chairman of its newly-established state bank. This supposed advocate of free enterprise accepted it. On air I used to call him "Neville Bolger" because of the obvious similarities between him & Chamberlain. A despicable low-life.

Failing that, the slot should be awarded to Dave Dobbyn for his truly atrocious "singing."

Graham Capill

AdamReed's picture

"Come on, convince me."


Graham Capill gave morality a bad rap in New Zealand, preaching and posing as a defender and promoter of morality when he was fucking children, using his position at the head of a Christian church to exact the obedience of the kids he was raping.

Graham Capill gave freedom a bad rap in New Zealand, preaching sexual repression - both the psychological mechanism that drove Capill himself to rape little girls, and the cover that enabled him to get away with raping little girls for years on end - as a supposed pre-condition of freedom.

Graham Capill held the position of a public prosecutor, prosecuting who knows how many innocent people, not on evidence, but on hearing the voice of g-d in his head telling him that Capill's innocent victims had displeased God and deserved punishment. If there were an Innocence Project in New Zealand, it would be pushing for an objective review of every single case Capill was involved in. But there isn't, and who knows how many innocent people are being even now deprived of liberty by Capill's doing.

That should be enough to convince. There is probably more, but I am not enjoying the research.

Only nine so far

Peter Cresswell's picture

"I've only selected nine, still leaving one spot for your own suggestions. Come on, convince me."

The Tenth

AdamReed's picture

I was surprised not to find Graham Capill on your list. He should be.

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