Technique (not work safe)

Adam Buker's picture
Submitted by Adam Buker on Thu, 2006-03-02 14:05

I'm just wondering if there are any particular sexual techniques (beyond the basics) that really get her going. Since sex is one of the most important parts of life, it might as well be done right! Right now my situation is that my girlfriend has a lot more sexual experience than I do, and she's told me a little about what she likes. However, I'm usually trying to figure things out by trial and error. I love her dearly, and I would love to show her that I know my stuff.


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Yup, I guess someone had to

Ross Elliot's picture

Yup, I guess someone had to bring it up eventually Eye

The other hole

Pete L's picture

I don't know to what extent you've experimented with this, but don't ignore the anus. In particular, if you're providing stimulation vaginally and she starts to respond intensely, use your fingers to simultaneously work the anal area and there's a good chance you will send her into overdrive. Don't just stick it up there, probe the outer rim to gauge her comfort level first, and then gradually proceed to do slight insertion and try to find that point where it's not too much but not too little. There's an outside chance she may not want you to do anything at all in that area, but odds are she will enjoy it.

Ask ...

eg's picture

Ask Linz

--Brant

Ahem, several years ago I

Ross Elliot's picture

Ahem, several years ago I developed a mounting & stimulatory cluster-package known as The Rosco (TM).

I may share it if properly encouraged, perhaps by private mail Eye

There's also The Krell Hitchhiker (TM) but I only named it. It's just plain nasty and probably illegal in most jurisdictions...

Ciro D'Agostino

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Ciro D'Agostino

Technique Is Important

Dan Edge's picture

Howdy,

While the intellectual component of a romantic realtionship is of utmost importance, a comprehenive understanding of sexual technique is absolutely essental if you want to make her consistently come like a rocket. Good lovers are made, not born, and any good lover approaches the subject of sexual technique with a critical eye.

First and foremost, explicit communication about sexual technique between partners is critical. One must be able to talk about one's likes and dislikes in a specific, serious way. This kind of communication can be uncomfortable, especially at first, but it's well worth it. Discussion on this topic can be very playful, too, making it easier.

It's a good idea to set aside time with your lover specifically for sexual exploration and experimentation. During these sessions, keep a constant line of communication open, make recommendations to each other, trying to be as specific and explicit as possible. Sex in this way is not very erotic, but it's like putting money in the orgasm bank, to be withdrawn later with interest.

Every woman is a beautifully designed puzzlebox to be solved. You "solve" her by experimenting with different erogonous zones to discover what she responds to the most. Obviously the clitoris, vagina and labia, and breasts and nipples are always on this list, but many women respond powerfully to stimulation of other areas of the body. Try sucking and biting the neck, sucking fingers and (yes) toes, gentle massages of the hands, feet, back and face, scratching the head, sucking and biting the ears, passionate kissing, sucking the tongue, biting and sucking the lips, etc., etc., as many things as you can think of.

Keep in mind that a woman's erogenous zones may change as she gets closer to orgasm. Many women can't tolerate having the nipples or clitoris stimulated until they are sufficiently aroused. Usually it's like a graduated scale: the more a woman is aroused, the more intensly you can stimulate these very sensitive areas to get her closer to orgasm. You have to experiment with this to find the right tempo for any particular woman.

Finally, a woman reaches orgasm more frequently and more intensely through stimulation of multiple erogenous zones simultaneously. Many women cannot reach orgasm with only vaginal stimulation, which is the only kind of stimulation she usually gets through penetration. Try manually stimulating the clitoris, nipples, and other of the woman's erogenous zones simultaneously as she nears orgasm. Also experiment with different sexual positions that stimulate her clitoris. One good example: when the woman is on top, she can rotate her hips forward and backward as she goes up and down, rubbing her clit against the man's lower belly.

As you get more experience with sexual technique, it gets more and more fun. Try experiementing with vibrators and other toys, watching porn together, dirty talk, role playing, whatever floats your boat (or raises your sail). Remember that, though certain sexual techniques can feel unnatural at first, once you automatize them it feels totally natural and enhances your sexual experience.

Hell, I need to write a book about this shit. I think good sex, and watching a woman collapse into a screaming, quivering, crying pile of jello, is the best thing in life!

--Dan Edge

Jesus H Christ, it's all in

Ross Elliot's picture

Jesus H Christ, it's all in the head, Babies!

I'm not claiming to be a Casanova but any real man knows that a salaciously whispered word in the right orifice is more exciting than a million kisses to the inner arm. The mind is supreme in all things.

Rub me, lick me, suck me, then tell me you're a communist chick and I'll catapult you out of my bed quicker than you can say Che Guevara. But mention supply & demand and it's dependence on the price system and I'll ride you to the moon and back.

I've always like sounds, feedback and a grinding honesty. Gimme the truth and a timely piece of uttered filth and I'm your man. Same for the girls. To paraphrase Jim Morrison, Love 'em Madly, and how!

The real thing

Tim S's picture

No, no, no, the Kama Sutra is just porn for the politically correct! If you're going to go that route you may as well go the whole hog with some true blue home-grown porn. That country and western lead guitar is all the background music she'll ever need Eye

Love, and the 'making' of it

Rowlf's picture

If *I* may suggest:

Re that 10% 'technique', bone up (eh, sorry) on the Kama Sutra. Depending on the quantity of illustrations, it may not matter what language it's written in. Also, I'm surprised that no one mentioned 'background' music; find out what her faves are and...USE 'em!

Re that other all important 90%, other than 'discovering' more of her values and showing that you are interested in knowing her even more...the rest can only be between you and her.

GL

hmmm

Adam Buker's picture

Maybe if you wore a wig or a cowboy hat, Linz... But then your whipping boy might get jealous... lol

Frankly ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

I think the guys here are all talk.

There's only one way I'll be persuaded otherwise.

Feeble excuses such as "Sorry, Linz, wrong bits & pieces" or "Think I'd do it with a mangey old dog like you?" will be seen as confirmation of my suspicions & not accepted.

Roll on SOLOC 5! Smiling

We are joking here..

Robert's picture

I don't know Ciro - that steely look of yours have makes me wonder Smiling

Deleted

Robert's picture

Deleted double post

Adam, do you understand that

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Adam, I hope you understand that we are joking here?

Ciro D'Agostino

Ashley, Samantha, thinks

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Ashley, Samantha, thinks giving head is hard work!!

Ciro D'Agostino

Fuhgeddaboudit Ciro

Ashley's picture

This from the same guy who thinks giving head is hard work? Smiling

Adam, if your girlfriend

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Adam, if your girlfriend agrees, I am more than happy to show you how you make love to her, what do you think piano man? Smiling) You will learn the italian way. The best, believe me.

There is a time to worship

John M Newnham's picture

There is a time to worship her body with tenderness and reverence, and a time to posess it. *Listen* to what her body tells you. Its an exploration full of surprises and hidden secrets. And relax, it is *not* the olympics!

John

Ciro D'Agostino

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Ciro D'Agostino

Great topic :-)

Tim S's picture

Making love is 90% about attitude, 10% technical skill. If you have the attitude right the technical bits will come with time. So don't sweat the detail, focus on having the time of your life, being close to your woman, and forget about how you are going to be rated.

You can learn the technial bits by paying attention to how her body reacts, and keeping it fun and open so you can always talk about it. And most importantly, never react badly if she tells you something she must have learned from a previous relationship.

Whew!!I just read Robert's

Tenyamc's picture

Whew!!

I just read Robert's post (Time) and I'm a bit flushed. Everything he said is true. Get the word out to every man on the planet. That's good stuff, Robert.

Robert

Jody Gomez's picture

Here's to women that are secure and confindent enough to give you a few pointers. I've been with a couple of those as well. I don't know if a woman even knows what she wants, unless she has the sexuality to TELL you what she wants. And when that happens, by all means, TAKE her advice.

Interesting insight:

Robert's picture

I did see a (clean) documentary once that has a bearing on this sort of thing. Sorry I just caught the end of it and I don't remember the name.

It was asking the question: "Why can't you tickle yourself?"

Apparently the human brain is wired to decrease the sensitivity of feeling you get when you touch, scratch, slap and attempt to tickle yourself.

Somehow - and it wasn't made clear - we are able to detect when another person is touching us (here they did a blind test with a fake hand controlled by a computer) and when that happens the brain ramps up the sensitivity and the feeling you get from just the lightest touch from someone else is amplified greatly.

Obviously they were talking in terms of you being relaxed and unthreatened etc.

So here's the thing: you have to be careful how much pressure you apply when ah "handling" someone else because the same amount of force that you or she would use to achieve the same "effect" may actually cause pain...

Contradiction is the spice

Robert's picture

Contradiction is the spice of life my friend! Think nothing of it!

But please remember, I was trying to give the man a few ideas to try out!!! Nobody did this for me! I was lucky enough to meet a couple of ladies who weren't shy about giving me a few pointers...

So, I don't actually disagree with you Ciro.

The problem is that what comes "natural" to guys when they first start out is to concentrating on the boobies and southern regions and to forget there is a whole woman attached that is being neglected.

Now it's time for me to shut the hell up before some lady comes on and says that I don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

Adam

Jody Gomez's picture

One thing I've learned, is that what drives one woman crazy will have the opposite effect on another. I would almost venture to say that with each new woman you are with, it's tabula rasa as far knowing what to do goes. You just have to find out what they like. Hopefully she's comfortable discussing it with you and even more comfortable and excited about practicing it with you. So, to make a long story short-- forget everything that others tell you works(because their experience is with a different woman-hopefully! Eye)and find out what works with her.

Robert, I am sorry, my

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Robert, I am sorry, my friend, today it seems that i am contradicting all your posts. Please forgive me.

Ciro D'Agostino

Ciro D'Agostino

Ciro D Agostino's picture

Ciro D'Agostino

Be careful of beans...

Robert's picture

Be careful of the musical fruit when you are on a date... Food full of fibre can have an emergency braking effect on things! Nothing worse than letting one rip while your making out!!!

Course you have to remember that every girl is different. Hopefully she'll just crack up laughing... but some don't - take my word on that Eye

Time!

Robert's picture

Time! Make sure there is time to do things properly. Yes, being up against a deadline to go out can spice things up. But if you really want the earth to move make sure you have the time and privacy to really pay attention to her.

Kissing. Very important that you don't restrict it to the lips. Girls like to be kissed EVERYWHERE. Nape of the neck and behind the ear-lobe, the C1-5 vertebrae of the spine, and anywhere that the sun normally doesn't see and fabric doesn't wear against while she's walking Eye

The hard surface of you front teeth are good too - you don't bite her unless she tells you too - just run them gently along various areas or grip her top lip (the bit just under her nose) very gently in you teeth (or between your tongue and your teeth) and let it slide out.

Make sure you keep a gentle touch with your hands. Running them up and down the top of her spine, don't forget the triceps, hands and fingers (especially the tips - where all those nerve endings are!!!), run them through her hair all, while kissing her. And remember to get her to do the same to you! Lots of cuddling too, don't be afraid of the odd strong bear-hug.

Now if that doesn't get her motor revving (and yours) you'd better check her pulse, she may be dead!

There are some ideas for foreplay. As for the rest of the 12 act opera - tell her that you take requests.

That is, that you're happy to do anything she wants, she just has to say or just manouver the proper appendage to the area that needs scratching. Every girl is different and forget (almost) everything you've seen on porn-films wrt technique. Those folks are doing it for the camera, not each other.

And lastly - get fit! Everything works better and lasts longer when you are physically fit and eating well. Eye

Damn, I wish somebody had set up that anonymous identity thing I suggested in my first SOLO-Thrust post!!! Smiling

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