Stuff Environmentalists Like

Lance's picture
Submitted by Lance on Sun, 2009-01-25 19:37

From the comic genius who brought you Stuff White People Like comes Stuff Environmentalists Like. The beginner's guide to befriending and exploiting green people:

When it comes to children, environmentalists generally have the same attitude they have toward cars: it’s nice to have your own, but it’s better for the overpopulated earth to use one that’s already been produced. If you want a child but do not want to go through the hassle of conception and delivery, find an environmentalist with three or more children. They will be more than happy to hand you their youngest child to help offset their family’s impact. In fact, celebrity environmentalist Ed Begley Jr has already given away three of his own children to help reduce his carbon footprint.

Since the human population is most responsible for the destruction of the planet, you might be wondering if it is appropriate to suggest that an environmentalist commit suicide as a gift to the earth. The answer is no, mostly because environmentalists have so much work to do before they die and are eventually composted.

Part one
Part two
Part three
Part four
Part five

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