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Linz's Mario Book—Updated!
Obleftivist Yawon Bwook says Donald Twump is "THE villain of our time." Which of the following best accords with your view?
Yes he is
He's not a villain but a hero
Putin might be a bigger villain
The mullahs might be bigger villains
ISIS might be bigger villains
Ugly Wimmin might be bigger villains
Black Lives Matter might be bigger villains
Snowflake moronnials might be bigger villains
College professors might be bigger villains
Fake News outlets might be bigger villains
Pomowankers might be bigger villains
Obleftivists might be bigger villains
None of the above—specify
Total votes: 10
Reprise—SOLO-International Press Release: What the President Should Say
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Sun, 2009-06-21 01:52
SOLO-International Press Release: What the President Should Say
As I speak to you tonight, there is hope that the most evil regime on the face of this earth is about to collapse.
The theocratic dictatorship that rules the Islamic Republic of Iran is a regime that has actively sought to discredit and destroy America since its inception thirty years ago. It calls America "The Great Satan," routinely calls for "Death to America" and openly despises the freedom and prosperity we take for granted. It seeks nuclear weapons. It seeks the destruction of Israel. It sponsors terrorist organizations. It fomented the insurgency that began after the overthrow of Saddam Hussein. It has supplied the wherewithal for the roadside bombs that have killed so many of our soldiers in Iraq. Within its borders, it stones women to death. It arrests and tortures women if their headscarves do not fully cover their hair or their clothes show their figures too clearly. It hangs gays for being gay. It forbids lovers to hold hands in the streets. It brutally suppresses dissent and non-conformity, and enforces adherence to the most savage tenets of its religion.
But the spirit of man, it seems, is indomitable. Even in the face of such barbarism, Iranians, cheated of an honest election result, have spontaneously surged onto the streets, risking their lives for their rights to liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Some, it's true, may be hoping for an even stricter theocracy; we have reason to think, however, the vast majority are young folk yearning to be free.
Brave Iranians, go for it. America is behind you. We're all Iranians now.
There are those who don't want me to say this. They say I'll upset the Iranian dictators and provoke a crackdown. They seem not to notice there's a crackdown going on as I speak. I would remind them of the words of one of my greatest predecessors, Ronald Reagan, in a different yet essentially identical context:
My fellow-Americans, I have no intention of appeasing one of the most vile tyrannies in the history of man at this seminal moment when its victims are rising up. I wish the demonstrators every success. They are a poignant reminder of the words of our third President, Thomas Jefferson, "The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants."
May the patriots soon triumph, and the tyrants soon die.
Thank you and good night.
Lindsay Perigo: firstname.lastname@example.org
SOLO (Sense of Life Objectivists): SOLOPassion.com
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