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Linz's Mario Book—Updated!
Obleftivist Yawon Bwook says Donald Twump is "THE villain of our time." Which of the following best accords with your view?
Yes he is
He's not a villain but a hero
Putin might be a bigger villain
The mullahs might be bigger villains
ISIS might be bigger villains
Ugly Wimmin might be bigger villains
Black Lives Matter might be bigger villains
Snowflake moronnials might be bigger villains
College professors might be bigger villains
Fake News outlets might be bigger villains
Pomowankers might be bigger villains
Obleftivists might be bigger villains
None of the above—specify
Total votes: 10
Fish for Freedom
Submitted by PhilipD on Thu, 2010-04-01 03:46
The Trafford Council are not only disgusted and tired of serious crime in their district; they are also determined to do something about it. And thank god for that.
A ‘sting’ operation in the middle of last year caught two particularly nasty villains, both of whom appeared in court and were convicted on Tuesday. In showing the same spirit as the council for a crime crackdown, the judge ordered the mastermind of the vicious offenses to pay a hefty £1,000 fine, and that she be electronically tagged and placed under a seven-week, 6 pm to 7 am curfew. The judge told the wicked woman that she should consider herself lucky - he could have sent her to prison. Fellow-felon, the woman’s son, was whacked with a £750 fine and 120 hours of community service. That’ll teach ‘em.
In the ‘sting’ operation, council officers arranged for a six-foot-tall, under-aged boy, to enter the convict’s shop and approach the vile woman. Ah-huh, maybe the dastardly duo is selling liquor or drugs to under-aged kids? Or, much worse, they are operating some sort of pedophile ring from their store, perhaps?
Upon approaching the woman the almost-fifteen-year-old boy asked - wait for it- if he could purchase a goldfish. And the depraved woman sold him one. Gotcha bitch; selling an animal to a person under the age of 16 unaccompanied by an adult is illegal in England. Call the cops, bring out the handcuffs, and open the cells!
Council officers continue to defend their decision to spend an estimated £20,000 in prosecuting the pair. It wasn’t just the crime of selling goldfish to a minor, they claimed, but also that they found a cockatiel in the store in poor condition. The son, who manages the pet shop, said that he had been treating the bird and had not yet taken it to a vet because he was distracted by the hospitalization of his brother.
The now electronically-tagged and distressed pet store proprietor and jailbird, the 66-year-old Mrs. Joan Higgins, had operated her store without complaint for 28 years. The distressed goldfish was, to the great satisfaction of most, adopted by an animal welfare worker.
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