How To Immediately Solve America's Most Pressing And Dangerous Problems!

atlascott's picture
Submitted by atlascott on Wed, 2010-04-14 00:40

Ban the Following:

I am not sure exactly how it works. But I have been told by reliable sources that ART and MUSIC are the most pressing issues threatening the destruction of America.

I try not to worry my pretty little head over details and "why's" and "wherefores", cause they'd just sail right over my head.

But I am pretty sure if we ban this song, it will be a good first step...


Unless he go Boom Boom Boom.

Robert's picture

Looking at how popular Country music is, the new Rach may end up playing the Banjo and singing about Turnip Greens.

Instead, he may go Twang Twang Twang.

Smiling

Translation

atlascott's picture

Rough translation of lyrics:

[Begin Translation]

I am cool.

I am a technologically adept musical artist who produces music and video on the cutting edge of technology. I am cool.

I like being cool. People are copying my style because I am cool. My musical skills have created a veritable niche for me because I am incomparable, with technological musical aptitude from the year 3008, while others are stuck in the distant past of 2000-and late. I am cool, and will be cool in the future.

You have to be cool.

I am cool and technologically adept and fast, and women notice me when I walk into a room. While you others are recording using 8-bit lo-fi recording technology, my music has advanced to high definition audio recording, and I can be seen on the latest flat panel televisions.

I am powerful and horny. Sexually, I am like a robot from the future, faster, better, stronger. I have a large penis for sexy women. Our musical beat bounces and pounds and is immediately identified, respected and holds sway wherever you happen to be listening to this song.

People in the place, if you want to dance, throw your hands in the air and the DJ is going to play some music for you. [Note: She seems very emphatic, as if she really has a message to share. But there is none.]

Our beat in this song is great to dance to, and it is very cool.

I like being cool. People are copying my style because I am cool. My musical skills have created a veritable niche for myself, with technological musical aptitude from the year 3008, while others are stuck in the distant past of 2000-and late. I am cool, and will be cool in the future.

[End translation]

My God.

It is tribal

Sandi's picture

an unevolved collective dance to primitive drums.

What it is

atlascott's picture

It is sort of visually interesting, and if you have any interest in modern electronic music, it is sort of generically passable.

But the song itself is about literally nothing.

The video is technology in service of a zero.

Fergie is hot. They are all dressed in sort of interesting clothing.

They are using auto-tune which allows anyone to sound like the do in the "song."

But this is not art - it does not deserve the name as defined by Ayn Rand.

It is a garbage time consumer.

It tells us nothing. It shows us pretty lights and electronic sounds generated in a computer.

It shows attractive people posing. Fergie dances a little bit there, but the computer generated people dance more than the rea ones do.

What it is about? What is it for? And how can it stand for the cultural triumph of nihilism over substance and story and theme?

Anyway, I give Linz a hard time, and Mr. Newberry a hard time, but ART does matter. Art IS a reflection of one's vision of man and his proper place.

But the real issue is, if a new Rach was sitting right next to any of us, when only "music" of this stripe and flavor has any chance at being commercially or popularly distributed, what difference can the new Rach make?

Unless he go Boom Boom Boom.

Greg

atlascott's picture

If I couldn't take the occasional piss, this stuff would drive me crazy.

I understand what you wrote!

Scotty

gregster's picture

Very funny. Smiling

Art and music are obviously cultural barometers. It has taken decades for the dead-end philosophy of the age to distill itself into pieces of muck which many call art.

The point is, to fix the underlying philosophy first. Then great art and music will follow as well as freedom! Free your ass..

Solution to Foreign Policy Problems

atlascott's picture

Ban This

Solution to America's Financial Problems

atlascott's picture

Ban This:

Honestly

atlascott's picture

I don't know HOW it could possibly be that anything about Fergie could be a part of any problem, with a body like that.

But, you know...she got that boom boom pow.

Yeah, I was pretty impressed

James Heaps-Nelson's picture

Yeah, I was pretty impressed by Oscar the Grouch. He's a mean, green fighting machine Smiling.

Jim

Whew. I'm just glad it's not

Aaron's picture

Whew. I'm just glad it's not by banning that cool video with the thrashing Muppets.

Aaron

Awww

James Heaps-Nelson's picture

I thought you were going to post Let's Get Retarded Smiling

Jim

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