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Linz's Mario Book—Updated!
Obleftivist Yawon Bwook says Donald Twump is "THE villain of our time." Which of the following best accords with your view?
Yes he is
He's not a villain but a hero
Putin might be a bigger villain
The mullahs might be bigger villains
ISIS might be bigger villains
Ugly Wimmin might be bigger villains
Black Lives Matter might be bigger villains
Snowflake moronnials might be bigger villains
College professors might be bigger villains
Fake News outlets might be bigger villains
Pomowankers might be bigger villains
Obleftivists might be bigger villains
None of the above—specify
Total votes: 9
I'm in Love (Again!)
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Wed, 2010-06-02 06:03
As some of you know, for the last little while I've been living in an apartment which is actually part of a hotel. Seems some of the All Blacks are staying in this hotel at the moment. This afternoon, returning from an outbreak of "going out," I stepped into the elevator and was followed in by ... the All Black skipper, no less, Richie McCaw. Aaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!! Be still, my delirious heart! In that moment I fell in love with him ... and became his elevator operator. "Six!" he commanded. Weak at the knees like a dizzy schoolgirl, I thought to myself, "Yes, my captain!" and pressed Floor 6 with sweaty, tremulous forefinger. Unfortunately my floor is 3, and we'd both gotten in at Lobby level, Floor 2. Didn't give me much time for seduction. "Gonna knock 'em dead, Richie?" I asked lamely, alluding to this month's test matches. "That's the plan," he responded, laughing. "Good luck," I said, the elevator doors already opening to separate me from the object of my love.
Man, the charisma he exuded! For a few fleeting seconds I was in the presence of greatness. Beautiful, athletic, honed, focused, Greek-god greatness, with big, intelligent eyes. The X-factor he gave out could burn up solar systems. You guys know how I bang on about "total passion for the total height." There it was, real, right next to me! I'm still all a-tremble.
Now I have to figure out a way to persuade him that I'm the one he's been waiting for all his life—and that he and his boys need speech coaching.
At least I know what floor he's on.
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