Lifetime cure for Lefties

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Submitted by Marcus on Fri, 2010-10-29 09:17

"Scientists have given mankind many blessings, but the discovery of the gene for Left-wing behaviour must be foremost among them. For now there is a diagnosis, there can be a cure. Just think of it – a quick screening of the unborn infant, a mild course of gene therapy, and hey presto! The disease can be eradicated within a generation.

Perhaps we are getting a little ahead of ourselves. But even if science falls short of an outright cure, it should still be possible to ameliorate the symptoms. The gene does not automatically make the carrier a Lefty; rather, it triggers the adolescent brain's reward mechanism in the presence of novel experiences and viewpoints. The treatment is simple: lock teenage sufferers in a drab room, furnished with the works of [Rand], Hayek and Friedman. True, their social skills will be somewhat stunted. But the benefits will last a lifetime."

"A normal state of a healthy person whose brain developed under the caring guidance of the progressive establishment. As opposed to the rigid and bigoted Republican/Capitalist/Conservative brain, a Liberal/Socialist/Democrat brain is hard to map because it undergoes perpetual reshuffling of its centers and synapses. Generally it can be characterized by a compassionate concern for not taxing the rich enough, combined with generosity in spending other people's money. A liberal brain is known to have a well-developed "blame-America" synapse, a benign "Smarter Than Thou" tumor, a Global Warming Panic Center, the Entitlement Synapse, Moral Relativity Gray Area, and a "P.C. Lobe" responsible for speech codes, multiculturalism, racial quotas, and alternative lifestyles. The underdeveloped areas of a Liberal Brain usually include those that handle common sense, personal responsibility, sense of humor, patriotism, and work ethics. The eternal motivational force that keeps a liberal going is typically a daily doze of Starbucks coffee combined with the dialectical struggle of the opposites - the feeling of being a victim of oppression and the feeling of guilt for oppressing the others at the same time."

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And I thought it was a joke...

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Researchers Find the 'Liberal Gene'

"A new study has concluded that ideology is not just a social thing; it's built into the DNA, borne along by a gene called DRD4. Tagged "the liberal gene," DRD4 is the first specific bit of human DNA that predisposes people to certain political views, the study's authors claim.

And the key to it all: Liberals are more open, said lead researcher James H. Fowler, a professor of both medical genetics and political science at the University of California, San Diego.

"The way openness is measured, it's really about receptivity to different lifestyles, for example, or different norms or customs," he told "We hypothesize that individuals with a genetic predisposition toward seeking out new experiences [a measure of openness] will tend to be more liberal" -- but only if they had a number of friends when growing up, Fowler cautioned.

This isn't a typical gene association study," he said. "There's a combination of genes and environment that matter."

The paper, which appears in the latest edition of The Journal of Politics, focused on 2,000 subjects from The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health. By matching genetic information with maps of each individual's social network, the researchers were able to show that people with a specific variant of the DRD4 gene were more likely to be liberal as adults -- though only if they had an active adolescent social life."

The mean gene: The DNA strand that makes people stingy

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"If you have a friend who never buys a round or who rarely pays their fair share, try not to get too angry.

Because being mean could be in their genes. Scientists have pinpointed a stretch of DNA that makes people stingy with their cash.

Around one in four of us carries the 'mean gene', which we have inherited from our parents.

In the study, those with the gene gave less money to charity than others...

Previous research has shown that our propensity towards generosity is only partly explained by our genes.

This means that other factors, such as upbringing, education and religion also play a role.

Spendthrifts, however, don't necessarily have the moral high ground. It is thought that one of the reasons we splash our cash or help others is simply because it makes us feel good.

Writing in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, the researcher said: 'Altruism is defined as a selfless concern for the welfare of others.

'However, there is a great debate in the literature if true altruism really exists.

'People who doubt the existence of pure altruism argue that helping others is intrinsically rewarding and therefore they are exercising their personal interest to benefit their own selves rather than others.'

PJ O'Rourke – the rightwinger it's OK for lefties to like

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"For many leftwingers PJ O'Rourke occupies a unique position. The famed American humorist and once notoriously hard-living journalist is the Republican that you liked. His caustic wit and warm humanity shone through his writing even when he was attacking your most firmly held political beliefs. Also, he loved a drink and wrote for cool magazines like National Lampoon and Rolling Stone. He seemed like he would be a lot of fun to prop up a bar with.

So it is comforting that within moments of settling into a chair in a borrowed office in downtown Chicago that O'Rourke casts his eyes thirstily around the room. "Can I offer you guys anything? God knows there might be a minibar in here," he says in a growly voice of hope, but not expectation.

Alas the mid-afternoon timing prevents an alcohol order. But if O'Rourke is still on the lookout for good times, the same cannot be said for his writing, which has taken a decidedly dark and despairing turn. His latest book's title says it all. "Don't Vote," it shouts on the cover before adding a punchline: "It Just Encourages the Bastards."

Don't Vote is, to say the least, an angry book. It attacks the entire gamut of American political life – but especially the left – in no uncertain terms and in salty language.

"Politics is a vulgar fucking subject," O'Rourke writes by way of apology for his repeated swearing. "I have resorted to barnyard words because of the amount of bullshit, horseshit and chickenshit involved in politics," he adds. Yet if anger is the American political theme of the moment – and much polling data suggests it is – then O'Rourke has caught the mood of much of the nation perfectly."

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