Celebrating those charming Easter rituals

Peter Cresswell's picture
Submitted by Peter Cresswell on Wed, 2006-04-12 20:26

Every year at Easter we celebrate sacrifice with time-honoured rituals that go to the heart of who we are as a society. This year will be no exception.

Yes, this very Easter -- just like every Easter past in this pathetic authoritarian backwater -- bureaucrats will be out in force once again showing who's boss: arresting, harrassing and charging shop-owners who have the temerity to open their own shops on Good Friday and Easter Sunday. Tourists will be able to say that they arrived in New Zealand, but the country was closed. And those of us who live here will be able to look forward to court hearings later in the year at which people will be sentenced, fined and pilloried for the act of minding their own business.

A pity that our politicians and bureaucrats can't learn how to.

TAGS: Politics-NZ


JoeM's picture

Ha, I'm working today.


Kenny's picture

It's Easter Sunday and most of my local shops are closed (expect those run by Asians). So it is off to the pub!

Shop Trading Restrictions are a Human Rights Issue

Sandi's picture

I would love to see a shop trader hit the courts with this reasoning.
The inability to trade is due to religious reason. Only a certain religion preaches this stance, therefore it is blatant discrimination.
Following this rationale, if there wasn't such a thing as Christianity, most public holidays you can trade freely.

On a more lighter note.

If we are forced to conform to a religious decree such as no trading during certain ritualistic days, then accordingly, we must all be forced to stop eating during the days of Ramadan. The meat industry must observe and follow regulations according to the slaughter process of both Hal Al and kosher requirements. This is regardless of the fact you may not be a Jew or a Muslim or regardless of the fact you might not agree that this is the most humane to method to dispatch an animal. The diabolical amount of "do not's" in both the Islamic and Jewish religions alone, would almost bring the country to a halt, and that is before we have started on the Hindu's, Sikhs, druids and every other form of viruses around.

However, I can see a few problems with religious observance. For example, when, in order to conform to a druid ritual of the summer solstice. Where all families must dance naked around a tree in the neighbourhood, the subsequent potential cases of paedophilia will begin to clog up the courts. This will be compounded when the Muslims start to bomb the streets in protest, the Christians will choke on their holy bread that is made of rice because the Jews do not eat grain on the 16th and the Sikhs start shaking their daggers because they have to remove the towels from their heads.

Shopping at Foodtown will be an experience. The tannoy will be broadcasting over several channels, covering several languages. Calls to prayer will be played, as prayer mats will be laid down the aisles. There will of course be duplicated aisles, which will be fully screened, one for men and one for women. Naturally all food will be koshered; Hal al'd, eradicated, desiccated and sprinkled with holy water. Cubicles will be inset between the rows of baked beans and tabouleh, these will be auto rotational so the user will be spun accordingly to the correct position facing Mecca or the nearest tree.

I can also foresee subsequent scams at the check out counters. When a Muslim couple are required to pay for their groceries, there is the potential for the husband to say three times, "I divorce you" to his wife, he can simply pick up the goods, walk out and leave her standing penniless, holding the bill.

Presumably Foodtown branches would not be run by individual managers, but by boards of directors which would probably not consist of any less than about 15 members from various denominations. The art of negotiation would be the main requirement above and beyond any managerial or administrative qualification. I should imagine the boardroom as being like a padded cell, as a protective measure. Memos to staff may take weeks, maybe months to make it to the shop floor. It would be considered a successful enterprise if the board members could agree on one issue annually and this would be reflected on the stock market.

Children would be required to wheel shopping carts to school, such would be the requirement for the various text books and items of all religious observance. Boy’s carts will be smaller and lighter to push, as their carts will not be over-burdened with burqa's, sari's, robes, prayer shawls and chastity belts.

Such would be the strict requirements for restaurants that to order a 3 course meal and follow the strict religious prayers and observances, you would need to allow at least 3 hours before the food has been served to your table. Menu’s would need to be wheeled to your table, along with prayer shawls, mats, parchments, incense, rosaries, chalices, challah plates and candle sticks.
As for the selection and preparation of food, this is a can of worms I would not choose to open.

Methinks after all this said and done, I have found that there is one thing in common, that Allah, Krishna, Jesus, Shiva and the rest of the gods who are to be obeyed, actually share. And that is an “Obssessive Compulsive” Disorder.

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.