Smalley-mindedness vs the Rugby World Cup

Lindsay Perigo's picture
Submitted by Lindsay Perigo on Sun, 2011-09-18 01:05

Any doubts that the brief historical period of enlightened live-and-let-live liberation from the tyranny of Puritanism is nearly at an end must finally have been put to rest by the mindless furore over Mike Tindall's alleged cavortings in a Queenstown nightclub. It is claimed that the England captain was enjoying himself. He is alleged to have buried his head in the cleavage of an attractive blonde woman who was also believed to be enjoying herself. This while he and other England team members were all allegedly enjoying themselves after a Rugby World Cup match.

A bouncer with strong views on marital fidelity (Tindall was recently married to the Queen's grand-daughter) apparently uplifted video of the alleged bust-burying captured by the night-club's security cameras and posted it on YouTube. The gutter press have been having a feeding frenzy, notwithstanding that the new Mrs Tindall has pronounced herself unfazed by the episode and pointed out that the blonde woman in question is an old friend.

Now, thankfully, the bouncer has been fired by the security firm that employed him, and charged by police with accessing a computer system for dishonest purposes. (Personally I would like to see the trash tabloids that reproduced the footage charged with being accessories after the fact.) The nightclub has suspended the security firm from guarding its premises. A groundswell is occurring on behalf of the right to let one's hair down, non-coercively, on private premises set aside for the purpose without ending up on the front pages of tawdry print publications and TV networks.

Enter Rachel Smalley, poster girl for one of these tawdry networks, TV3. This adenoidal airhead fronts TV3's morning news show. Her nasal emissions are a prize exhibit in my case that NZ broadcast journalists no longer speak, but rather, quack. (Smalley and many others ought to be charged by police with murder of the English language.) Well, in the good old days, newsreaders could not only read, but as a matter of professionalism they kept their personal opinions on the matters about which they read to themselves. Now, however, in wades intrepid Rachel to opine on Twitter that "they're drunk, groping women and slamming shots - in public." Former England captain Will Carling quite rightly responds with, "Wow! So rugby players can't drink in public in NZ??" (Poor Will clearly has no idea of the extent to which deeply stupid, sanctimonious, stroppy, perenially-scandalised slack slags hold sway in NZ social discourse.) Smalley-minded replies, "Yes they can - and they do. They just don't act like arrogant Eton school boys on the piss and on the pull. It's a RWC!"

It is indeed a Rugby World Cup, Rachel—and in spite of the likes of you it has already afforded a snapshot of humanity at its best. The gloriously-performed anthems (what a change from the usual headbanging travesties thereof!), the sublime Holst melody that is serving as the series' leitmotif, the teams' fierce, KASS intensity (exactly what I've been arguing Objectivists must display), their physical and mental smarts ... in all of that we have a veritable feast of heroism. And in the smalley-mindedness of the neo-Puritanism that underpins the Tindall non-scandal, Rachel, you and your ilk have afforded us a snapshot of humanity at its worst. My personal advice to you in particular: get a life. And a mind. Learn how to talk. And mind your own bloody business!

The original puritanism—the pathological fear that someone somewhere might somehow just be managing to have a good time, to invoke Mencken—was driven by religion. Neo-puritanism is driven by political correctness. Under the soft tyranny of political correctness, everyone is either taking offence at something or having to apologise for causing the offence. Life is an orgy of umbrage.

The RWC is a salutary, if doomed, reminder that humanity is still capable of rising above such smalley-mindedness.

Back Benches, pt 2

gregster's picture

What a terrible show that was last night. They seemed pleased to see Hone Harawira. Just shits interviewing shits. Didn't watch it, just googled it now.
MP Shane Jones is one looter who needs a shooter: "What does the private sector need to get off its arse and create more jobs?"

John Fellet ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

... has replied that the "Midsommer" offender can't be the "cheifs" miscreant because the latter left Sky TV to work for ... the Ministry of Education. Seriously.

I tuned into Back Benches tonight because they were talking about Don's marijuana speech. The creature who "read" the news leading into the programme represents a new low in cretinous quacking. An absolute vacuum between the ears, and I imagine an opportunist vacuum between the legs—I suspect she's sleeping with someone to get a job she would be allowed nowhere near if her actual talent for it were the criterion.

She is merely stupid. The person who unleashes such airheaded atrocities on TV screens is Head of News and Current Affairs, Anthony Flannery, a tawdry Australian intent on cheapening NZ television down to the sub-sewer in which bacteria like him thrive.

Anyone who wants to protest against the Ozification of news and current affairs can write to this scum at

Sky TV

Lindsay Perigo's picture

I sent this note just now to John Fellet, head of Sky TV (NZ), an American libertarian who often reminds me he was part of the campaign team of one of the Libertarian Party's presidential candidates. Ed Clark, I think. Anyway, I've pestered him for years with all my peeves. Here's what I wrote tonight:

The RWC coverage has been brilliant. Congratulations. Just a shame you Americans can't play rugby. I'd love to have seen the USA beat Aussie ass tonight!

It's been glorious to hear the anthems sung properly and accompanied beautifully. Such a change from the usual no-class/low-class default position. Speaking of which, that female who does the the trailer voice-overs on the documentary channel is a disgrace. Of all channels to use a bimbo on! The male and female on Food and Living are no better. They sound like retarded children, hitting all the prepositions as a literal cretin would. Someone should explain to them that "at," "on," "with," etc., are mere bridge words, not the ones to be emphasised, especially in their exaggerated, imbecilic manner.

One of your caption writers (probably the one of "cheifs" infamy) hasn't realised there's only one 'm' in "Midsomer," as in murders.

And of course, the Harvey Norman commercials are still abominable. No class.

But really, I'm writing in mainly positive vein. RWC has been a real pleasure. Justin has really come into his own, and of course it's been great to have Murray back. The drill-sergeant lead-in was great fun. Was it inspired by Sergeant Hartman?

The Republican presidential hopefuls seem to be trying to out-libertarian each other. Great to see.

Lady S

Lindsay Perigo's picture

I've just remembered: Ross thinks Sinatra can sing. Naturally he'll believe Smalley can speak. The poor benighted fellow. Evil Evil


Olivia's picture

Smalley is hideous, Olsen is beyond disgraceful. Absolute ear-sores both of them.

Smalley is terribly nasal ... and practises her "t's" and "s's" whilst disregarding her vowels. Definitely a quacker as well as a busybody.

Olsen should just be devocalized altogether.


Lindsay Perigo's picture

Did you miss this part:

"Smalley and many others ought to be charged by police with murder of the English language."

I have been on a mission about this for some time.


Ross Elliot's picture

...and silly tweets aside, I don't know why Smalley has been singled out for attention re her speech.

She's no worse than most, especially when compared to Karen Olsen, the TV1 weather girl, who could lisp for the NZ Olympic team. Not to mention most of the TVNZ reporters who have actual speech impediments including dangerously cumbersome lower lips.

Rachel Smalley:

Karen Olsen, with redeeming great tits:

I heard on the Radio...

Marcus's picture

...a former English player that the England coach will be unconcerned and will want the players to let their hair down.

It's just that awful strain of femi-NAZISM/ prudishness that NZ is famous for.

That and not being able to speak or communicate properly.

Sick, sick, sick!

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