Everything you ever wanted to know about Hell (but were too afraid to ask)

Richard Goode's picture
Submitted by Richard Goode on Sat, 2012-01-28 12:41

This is a 13-part series wherein I give you Hell, a little booklet by the inimitable Dr. Jeff Obadiah Simmonds.

Hell #1: Welcome to Hell
Hell #2: Hellish doctrines
Hell #3: The Immortality of the Soul (Part 1)
Hell #4: The Immortality of the Soul (Part 2)
Hell #5: Hell as Eternal Torment
Hell #6: Annihilation (Part 1)
Hell #7: Annihilation (Part 2)
Hell #8: Annihilation (Part 3)
Hell #9: Hell in the Teachings of Jesus (Part 1)
Hell #10: Hell in the Teachings of Jesus (Part 2)
Hell #11: Hell in the Teachings of Jesus (Part 3)
Hell #12: Hell in the Book of Revelation
Hell #13: Final Doom

Watch this space. Part 2 coming up (from below) ...


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Richard Goode

Leonid's picture

"second greatest Jew who ever lived."

So, you are a free man. But I wonder who was the first greatest Jew?

Re: Hell. I'm not really interested in Hell or Heaven. I don't think I could pass the border control. Besides, I don't think there is Hell or Heaven for atheists. We all will stuck in a terminal.

Stone Dead Forever

Richard Goode's picture

It's been a long time
Been a long long wait
And you caught your fingers
In the Pearly Gates

You'd better leave your number
And we'll call you
You know your problems
Ain't exactly new

Leonid

Richard Goode's picture

There is nothing over which a free man ponders less than death; his wisdom is, to meditate not on death but on life.

I long since came to terms with my own mortality, thanks, in large part, to the teachings of the second greatest Jew who ever lived.

It is love of life, not fear of death, that motivates me. I'm giving you Hell because I thought it would be of some interest to SOLOists. And, boy, was I not wrong!

Oh ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

... so now, Baade, PhD, you're aligning yourself with such intellectual giants as Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons and Herbert W. Armstrong in your head-long plunge away from the fact that Goblianity preaches hell. You're a disgrace to the brain you were born with but long since betrayed.

My God Goode...

Marcus's picture

"If Jesus doesn't show up, we're counting on you."

Now you're an agnostic? Do you change your mind on a minute by minute basis?

Richard Goode

Leonid's picture

Richard "Do you believe that when you're dead you stay in the ground? Do you believe that death is personal annihilation? Do you believe that once you're dead you're stone dead forever? That's annihilationism."

Spinoza already answered your questions:

"Homo liber nulla de re minus quam de morte cogitat; et ejus sapientia non mortis sed vitae meditatio est. SPINOZA'S Ethics, Pt IV, Prop. 67 "

(There is nothing over which a free man ponders less than death; his wisdom is, to meditate not on death but on life.)

Are you a free man?

The origin of Hell

Leonid's picture

Q: What God did before he created Universe?
A: He was preparing Hell for the people who ask such questions.

The great unwashed

Richard Goode's picture

And I'm afraid it just doesn't wash to disavow belief in hell while upholding Goblianity. Hell is part of Goblianity.

Armchair philosophising at its worst. If I don't fit neatly into your grandiose Randian fantasy template, I'm not sorry.

Never mind those pesky things called facts! As Simmonds notes

Numerous heretical Christian groups and sects have rejected the orthodox view of hell. The Jehovah's Witnesses, Christian Scientiests, Mormons, Herbert W. Armstrong's World Wide Church of God ...

But I'm jumping ahead to Part 2.

Why bother with *any* of it?! Just because your domestic circumstances make it expedient to do so?!

Please leave my personal life out of this discussion. As Simmonds notes

The question is not whether we like the doctrine of eternal torment, but whether this is what the Bible actually teaches. Evangelical annihilationists would say that it is not.

But, again, I'm jumping ahead to Part 2.

Oh FFS

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Do I believe that when I'm dead I stay in the ground? Yes! As Bertrand Russell said, "When I die I shall rot, and there's an end of it." Do you believe differently, Baade? On the basis of what evidence?

Do I believe that science will find a cure for death?! I don't know. It would be a tall order. Thwarting cells' inherent propensity to stop reproducing themselves and all. But science has achieved wonders, to be sure. I doubt it'll happen within my deathtime. Do you believe differently Baade?

And I'm afraid it just doesn't wash to disavow belief in hell while upholding Goblianity. Hell is part of Goblianity. Why bother with *any* of it?! Just because your domestic circumstances make it expedient to do so?! It's all rubbish, and disgusting rubbish.

Marcus

Richard Goode's picture

I see, from your profile, that you're a "Researcher of Ageing."

Found a cure yet? If Jesus doesn't show up, we're counting on you.

Conditions apply

Richard Goode's picture

Are you serious, Baade?

I'm serious, Linz. And you can thank me for livening up your musty Sabbath.

Do you believe that when you're dead you stay in the ground? Do you believe that death is personal annihilation? Do you believe that once you're dead you're stone dead forever? That's annihilationism.

Do you believe that in the not too distant future (i.e., later this century) medical science will find a cure for death? (I do. If you don't, why the hell not?) That's conditional immortality.

And there's one supreme piece of monumental evasion going on here. The traditional view is the traditional view. Hell as a place of eternal torture.

Have I not made myself clear? I reject the traditional view of hell as a place of eternal torture. It's beyond beyond beyond disgusting.

A PhD having a bar of any such excrement just goes to show how corrupt academia has become

It shows no such thing. And, just in case I haven't made myself clear, I don't have a bar of it. I'm a heretic, for which I offer no apology.

I could use a bit of eternal

Mark Hubbard's picture

I could use a bit of eternal fire in my Komodo BBQ at the moment. I skin-flinted on the charcoal, didn't put enough in and my steaks may be ruined. I'll burn in hell-fire for that.

Carry on ... Smiling

Conditional immortality?!

Lindsay Perigo's picture

Are you serious, Baade? Do you believe that good people will be rendered immortal as a reward for their goodness? Are you seriously contending that such unspeakable nonsense represents a convergence with my views?!

And there's one supreme piece of monumental evasion going on here. The traditional view is the traditional view. Hell as a place of eternal torture. Part of being a Goblian was the belief in the eternal fire with which Jeezy himself threatened us. Your Gobby didn't intervene to correct it, Baade. It's beyond beyond disgusting. Aside from its vicious, cretinous stupidity and barbarism, as Dawkins and Hitchens have argued (and Ingersoll before them) it's child abuse of the lowest kind. A PhD having a bar of any such excrement just goes to show how corrupt academia has become and how unintelligent and anti-intellectual our "intellectuals" (read: witch doctors) routinely are. See Rand.

Let's be clear

Richard Goode's picture

Superstition on Stilts ... not to mention inhumanity beyond imagination.

The traditional view of hell as a place of fire and eternal torment is, indeed, inhumanity beyond imagination. I would not, and could not, countenance such a view.

Obadiah's Little Booklet #13 is an academic treatise. Its author, at the time of writing, was "a full-time Christian writer, speaker, Bible scholar, teacher, entertainer, lecturer and musician," and he was writing for a general Christian audience. When he said

It should be acknowledged that the traditional view of hell is able to be argued and defended from Scripture.

he was being ... polite. As it turns out, the case for the traditional view is overwhelmingly weak. The case for the alternative view is overwhelmingly strong. Since the alternative view—annihilationism or conditional immortality—is what you already believe, the only thing you have to worry about is a (perhaps unwelcome) convergence of views.

Shame on you, Linz, for not taking heed of Proverbs 18:13.

Patience is a virtue.

Superstition on Stilts ...

Lindsay Perigo's picture

... not to mention inhumanity beyond imagination. Shame on you, Baade, PhD, for contaminating libertarianism with such filth.

Fighting cognition

F L Light's picture

1
No longer hallow your concern for hell,
Who should prophetic fantasies dispel.
2
Indecorous belief in fantasies
Of Hades enervates febrile unease.
3
No longer hallow your regard for hell,
Aware that tyrants would your fear impel.
4
Vision by faith in vitiation lies,
Accepting what a preacher magnifies.
5
No longer hallow your belief in hell,
Prelates distrusting who’d your freedom quell.
6
Fighting cognition with your faith in hell,
Dimensions of realities dispel.
7
No longer hallow this delusion, hell,
Who, trusting preachers, would self-interest sell.
8
Fighting cognition, not concerned to face
Terrestrial facts, for hell you’d find a place.

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