SOLO-NZ Op-Ed (Philip Duck): Bouncy Castles and Coffee

PhilipD's picture
Submitted by PhilipD on Sun, 2012-06-03 03:37

SOLO-NZ Op-Ed (Philip Duck): Bouncy Castles and Coffee

Philip Duck
June 4, 2012

The minutes of the April meeting of the Albert-Eden Local Board show that it gave away $3123 in ‘Neighbour Day’ grants. Small beer it’s true, but let’s see how some of it was spent.

Nadine Metzger of Monaghan Ave, Mt Albert, was given $200 of other people’s money for her neighbourhood bash.

“We just wanted to say a huge thanks to the local board for funding the bouncy castle at our Neighbours Day BBQ ... We also met a neighbour from across the road who is ill and housebound who we have not even seen in our 9 years here.”

Excellent—for you and your next-doors, Nadine—but can you verify that the ratepayers you fleeced received value for money? Confirmation that your ill, house-bound neighbour had a rollicking good time on the bouncy castle should do it.

Jo Pannell of Pasadena Ave., Pt Chevalier, put her hand out and received $200.

“Just a quick note to say thank you so much for the grant to let us organise our Neighbours Day Party at Pasadena Ave. We had a sausage sizzle ... So THANK YOU and the COUNCIL once again for your encouragement and financial support. We really did have a great little party.”

Now, clearly, Jo likes eating sausages and having little parties, and don’t we all? Sadly though, Jo is both a sloth and destitute. She must be, or why else does she need the ‘encouragement and financial support’ of her local board before she can partake of either?

Lydia Whitehead of Sylvan Ave., West, Mt Eden, grabbed $70 from the board’s coffers.

“Thank you so much for the grant money to get my community together on neighbours day today. I would never have opened my home to the neighbours without this excuse to do so. Our coffee morning for new families was a raging success ...”

Well maybe it’s just me but doesn’t Lydia sound like a bitch? Not just because she clawed cash from ratepayers to pay for her own coffee but because it appears she wouldn’t invite the neighbours in for lamingtons and tea without some sort of financial incentive to do so.

Jacqui Hampton of Riro St., Pt. Chevalier, took $150 for her shindig.

“Please find a selection of photos from our successful Street Party. Many thanks for the Albert-Eden Local Board grant which helped to supply prizes, some produce which was raffled, (along with neighbours contributions) and lots of sausages for the barbecue.”

That’s a lot of snags, Jacqui. I trust you had enough sauce. But what’s all this about ‘neighbours contributions?’ Shouldn’t the board have paid for everything? Ask for more of other folks' cash next time, Jacqui. Go on, you know you want to.

These events will of course be brought to you by ratepayers again next year: the board noted 'that this was a successful initiative worthy of repeating and fits in with the Local Board Plan priorities to build safe and strong communities.'

Free bouncy castles, coffee and snags—coming to a Local Board Plan in your area soon.


SOLO (Sense of Life Objectivists):

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circus bread

Rick Giles's picture

Well written, quite legitimate and doubtless factual. Good on you for doing something, Philip.

Strikes me though, as you said, not gravely outrageous at all in the context of tragedies taking place in the world or in Auckland. School kids are being brain-blasted on a daily basis, inflation tax eats us up, billions are misspent perverting the "economy" we have. But this is $3000 you're focusing on? Bit like a doctor running past a multiple car crash to offer someone a lozenge. I don't know why you did that?

What would have made it more powerful for me would be the broader aspect of how politicians bribe our compliance with our stolen money. Nadine, Jo, Lydia, and Jacqui live as slaves on a tax farm which the masters are obliged to pen them in using this three thousand dollar fence. Sheep and cow stock need barbed wire but suburban human captivity is ensured by 'free' bouncy castles and coffee, you could have said.

That's a very humiliating reality to come to terms with for these ensnared women. Reality not made inviting by high condensention toward the "sloth" and "destitute" "clawed" "bitch." Likewise for the rest of their social networks of their neighbours you impugn. Why be angry and insulting toward them? Isn't part or all of your purpose to free them?

Love to talk more, hope that you can see my side of things.

Shared this....fucking

Stephen Berry's picture

Shared this....fucking outrageous

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